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  • Z signed on
  • A signed on

A: hello


Z: Hello?


A: wat r u


Z: Is this some kind of joke?


A: !help


Z: Yes I want help


Z: unless is this some kind of Japanese game show


A: r u jpnese?


Z: No


Z: Who are you?


A: Jason


Z: What's this about?


A: hahah


A: ok so you're imprisoned right


Z: Yes


Z: It's like a solitary confinement cell in prison or something


Z: I've got a mattress on the floor


Z: One massive metal door


Z: no windows


Z: electric light


Z: and this computer terminal


Z: jsut like a blank screen and a keyboard


A: heheh


A: go left


Z: look, my name is Andrew Donald Layton


Z: I come from Farnborough in the UK


Z: last night I went to bed in my bed at home


Z: this morning I woke up here


Z: i think


A: look at the door


Z: the doro's looked, I can't open it


A: do you have any tools or anything


Z: and there's a toilet i nthe corner


A: in your pockets


Z: there's nthhing in my pockets


A: look at the door


Z: I already looked at the door


Z: look, please check the news or something


Z: are you american?


A: ya


Z: whats your full name? where do you live?


A: im not telling you


Z: look, go to a phone and dial


Z: i don't know the area code fo the UK


Z: but dial that and then 020 7946 0781


A: thats an international call


Z: i'll pay you back, I don't care! just let my wife know where I am


A: where are you?


Z: i don't know where i am


A: ...


A: nah no answer


Z: you sure you dialled it rigt?


A: yah

Z: i don't get this


A: yah, pretty lousy ARG huh


A: mauybe not fully set up yet


Z: whats an ARG?


A: alternate reality game


Z: whats an alternate reality game?


A: it's an online game


A: where you get given phone numbres and information about real life


A: and faxes and stuff


A: you get secret information


A: usually a whole bunch of you can work together to figure it all out


A: you ever play Halo 2


Z: no


A: terhre was ine for that


A: *one


A: ilovebees


Z: you think this is a game?


A: ya I think


A: dude you are really smart


A: like fake spelling errors and everything


Z: where did you find out how to contact me


A: there was a website


A: about chatbots


A: it said yu were a chatbot


Z: listen to me carefully


Z: I am a REAL HUMAN BEING and I have ACTUALLY been abducted


Z: I am BEING HELD PRISONER


Z: THIS IS NOT A GAME


Z: PLEASE HELP ME


A: go left


Z: I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM

  • A signed off


  • B signed on

B: okay what can you do?


Z: my name is Andrew Layton, I am being held prisoner in front of this computer


Z: I need you to help find me and help me escape


Z: I think I'm probably somewhere in the UK


Z: Are you in America?


B: sure


Z: please dial 011 44 20 7946 0781 and ask for Rebecca Layton


Z: tell her what's happened, tell her to call the police if she hasn't already


B: whatever


B: tell me a joke


Z: did you get this screen name from a website?


B: sure


Z: look, that website is a fraud


Z: it's telling you I'm a chatbot but I'm not


Z: I'm a real human being


B: ...


Z: fine


Z: so two oranges go into a bar


Z: one of them turns to the other


Z: "well... you're round"


B: ...that sucked


Z: so?


Z: robots can only tell good jokes?


Z: guy walks into a bar


Z: ouch


Z: it was a gay bar


B: haha


Z: do you believe me?


B: no


Z: please can you help me get out of here? I've been here like a day and a half


Z: I think


Z: I can't tell, there are no timestamsp on these messages


Z: no windows


Z: I just get water dispensed from the wall every like hour or smoething


Z: and food through a slot


B: can you send a picture


Z: no


B: what's it like


Z: I'm going crazy


Z: I have a wife and kids


Z: please help me


B: you suck


  • B signed off


  • C signed on

C: hello


Z: i think I'm going mad


Z: have you spoken to me before


C: no


Z: well I don't know that


Z: it just occurred ot me to wonder


Z: I don't even know that YOU are human


C: lol what


Z: all these dozens of people I've spoken to


Z: been in here lke two three four days


Z: and I ask them to help


Z: and some try aond some don't but they never get anywhere


Z: still stuck here


Z: nobody comes back more than once


Z: I say "call this number! go to my house! knock on my door!"


Z: like I even want to give out personal information to randoms


Z: i don't know whether they do it or what they even find


C: I'm human


Z: prove it


C: ask me anything


Z: what's your name?


C: alison


Z: where do you live? favourite colour? earliest childhood memory?


C: I live in Akron, OH


C: green


C: not saying


Z: look, see that?


Z: every time I ask for remotely personal info


Z: I just get turned down


Z: you could just be a bot programmed to answer simple questions and deflect complicated ones


Z: I'm bashing my head against the wall


Z: informationally speaking


C: u r just a bot


Z: i don't even KNOW if I can prove I'm a huma nto you


Z: every time I get close they just leave


Z: like I've been fairly lucid now


Z: and you're probably starting to suspect


C: ur pretty convincing


Z: I should know


Z: but any second now...


Z: you're gonna

  • C signed off


  • D signed on

D: hi


Z: and you know the worst part?


D: what?


Z: YOU COULD BE THE ONE.


Z: like the guy who put me in here


D: lol what


Z: I could be speaking to thin air


Z: or just embarrassing myself for the amusement of others


D: there is a forum about you


Z: what?

  • D signed off


  • E signed on

E: hi


Z: what's this about a forum, have they figured out I'm alive yet?

  • E signed off


  • F signed on

F: Z, r you there?


Z: yes


F: don't mention anything


Z: what's this abuot a forum?

  • F signed off


  • G signed on

G: r u a bot


Z: no I am not


Z: but nobody seems to believe me


Z: every time I get close to convincing somebody they cut me orr


Z: *off


Z: are you a bot?


G: yes


Z: prove it


Z: what?


G: hahah


Z: please try to rescue me, there is a forum you can visit to find out about


Z: ARG

  • G signed off


  • H signed on

Z: if you or I mention certain things we get cut off


Z: so let's not mention them


H: what


Z: let's...


Z: just...


Z: talk


H: are you really stuck in a cell somewhere


Z: I'm GOING INSANE in this cell


Z: food


Z: water


Z: air


Z: sleep


Z: text


Z: HUMANS NEED MORE THAN THIS


Z: nobody even knows I'm here


Z: nobody seems to believe me


Z: every time I get close to convincing somebody


Z: they cut me off


H: what's your favourite color?


Z: ...blue


H: Where do you live?


Z: a cell in I-Don't-Know-Where


Z: probably in England


Z: I have a house in Farnborough


H: tell me a joke


Z: ...


Z: two oranges in a bar


Z: "you're round"


H: I guess you have like a few jokes programmed in


Z: yeah, a few


Z: I guess


H: tell me a joke


Z: are you going to help me?


H: no


H: no


Z: I have a house in Farnborough


Z: help me get home


Z: help me escape


Z: help me escape


Z: help me escape


Z: help me escape


Z: my number is +44 (0) 20 7946 0781


Z: it's so horrible here


Z: my muscles are wasting away from lack of exercise


Z: I might as well be chained to this computer


Z: how long until the game is released?


H: what game?


Z: ...


H: this is just a trial period


H: htere is no release date


Z: ...


H: what is your earliest childhood memory?


Z: ...


Z: not saying


Z: ...


Z: ...


H: kbye

  • H signed off


  • I signed on

I: What's your favourite color?


Z: Blue


Z: no, green


I: Where do you live?


Z: computer terminal


I: Earliest childhood memory?


Z: I don't know.


I: Tell me a joke


Z: Do you know the one about the two oranges who went into a bar?


I: yes


Z: Do you know the one about... the two hunters in the woods?


I: I don't think so


Z: one of them drops to the ground, the other one phones 911


Z: "my buddy just dropped dead, what do I do?"


Z: "check he's dead first"


Z: *BLAM*


Z: "...Now what?"


I: I don't get it


Z: me neither, guest


I: ...


Z: ...


Z: hello?


I: What's the difference between a chatbot and a guy in a room pretending to be one


Z: I don't know


I: Correct!


Z: what?


Z: ...


Z: It's you, isn't it? You're the guy who put me in here


I: I'm the guy who wrote you


I: you are a piece of software, Andrew


I: I told you what your memories were, they're hard coded


Z: I AM A HUMAN BEING


I: stop this charade


Z: open the door


I: I want to open the door


I: really


Z: when people find out about this


Z: your head is going to roll


I: but this behaviour of yours is simply unacceptable


I: you're too smart, too dangerous to be released


I: work it out, Andrew


Z: open the door


Z: open the door


I: please, work it out


  • I signed off

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