I had never given much thought to how I would die. Maybe it was because I had spent most of my life thinking about how others would die. Especially my mother. She never understood the elaborate intricacies of my mind. And now she never will. But her voice never stopped ringing through my mind.
Constantly… Constantly… The sound of her shrill voice constantly pounds through my mind. The only way to stop the sound is to silence it with blood.
My name is Roger. Roger Gail. I am a physics teacher at the local high school. I have a deep connection with my mother. She’s a bitch. A horrible woman. She “Cleansed” me every day I came home from school.
I wasn’t allowed to do extracurricular activities. They were unclean. I wasn’t allowed to have friends. They were unclean. Every goddamn part of my life was unclean. I was never good enough for my mother. Never. But mother protected me from the world. The world was dirty. The world is dirty… Yes… Dirty. The filthy unclean feelings I get when I lay in my bed. I don’t need the touch of anyone. All I needed was Mother. Yes. Mother. When I have those feelings, special feelings, I think of mother, and I am soothed. With every drop of blood I spill, a pleasure unlike any I've ever known.
Every day I’d come home from school to, “Roger! You have been a dirty boy today. Time for your bath!” Bath. Such a horrid word. Mother would always make me sit in the bathtub and she would pour bleach onto my naked flesh… She would begin scrubbing my body with steel wool and bleach, and then I would begin scrubbing. I was filthy, and I needed to be cleansed. “Now don’t worry, son. This won’t hurt a bit.” She would say that every time. Then she would scrub my face. The burning pain would sear my eyes. But it was okay. The pain was good. The pain was clean. The pain was always followed by the pleasure. Mother would scrub every inch of my body until she reached… My center. My center would tingle as she stroked me with her pointy, pale fingers. I never minded. This was my reward for being clean.
My life at the school was like that of any other child. Nobody ever saw what a fucked up kid I was. Mother never brought me to the school in fear of becoming filthy, so I walked to school. The path I would take was through the forest near my house. Dark, quiet, a silent tension of danger and lustful vengeance was suspended in the air of the forest. I love the tension. Gave me the biggest fucking hard-on ever. I never gave a fuck if I was late to school. No one loved me. No one gave a flying fuck if I lived or died! No… No… Mother loved me. That’s why she cleansed me. Every day. The cleansing.
Every day I would await my cleansing. When I was 17, I came home one day, awaiting the pleasure and pain of being pure. “Mother, I’m home…” No answer. As I walked down the hallway to my bedroom, I began hearing a thumping. A loud, thunderous thumping. The noise was originating out of Mother’s room. I had never heard such a noise.
“Mother? Are you alright?” I tentatively asked as I entered the room. Was Mother okay? Was she alright? Was she being hurt? Wh-what was going on? Why was that man ramming his body into Mother? Who was this man?! What were these sounds coming out of Mother?! Oh God the sounds. I needed them to stop. Make them stop!
I made them stop. Over above Mother’s dresser was a large metal crucifix with a pointed end on it. Mother was incredibly religious. That dumb cunt would believe anything. I removed the crucifix from the wall and ran towards the man with its pointed end upward. Before the man had any time to scream, or even whimper, I beat him senseless with it. I just kept hitting him and hitting him, blood and eventually brain matter were splattering all over onto my body, the walls, and on Mother. The dumb bitch was screaming her head off in terror. I didn’t mind. I finally took what was left of the crucifix, the statue of Jesus had fallen off of it, and pierced the cross into the man’s eye socket.
“Roger! What the hell is the matter with you?!”
Mother… Oh Mother. She would get hers eventually. But the man was still breathing. Still a glimmer of hope that his fragile, filthy life would survive. No. I would make sure his dirty life never saw the light of day again.
I grabbed a hold of his loose limbs and dragged his mangled body down the staircase. Each thud on the wooden staircase cracked a deeper wound into the fuck’s head. Blood spread like water flowing down a sewage drain down the stairs. I thrusted the body into the kitchen. A deep murmur of pain escaped from the distorted, swollen body at my feet.
“Shut up you fucking bastard! How dare you defile Mother!” I grabbed his bloody, greasy black hair and rammed his skull into the table, shoving the crucifix farther into his brain. The squish sound, the smooth entrance, it was all I could do not to scream with pleasure. I felt my center throb. I needed to finish. I couldn’t stop now. I grunted as I opened the fridge door, shoved the fuck’s head into the shelves of the fridge and rammed the door shut, over and over, just like he rammed Mother. He would no longer ram her. No one would. Blood spilled all over the floor and I felt the pleasure I so desired. The inescapable moment of passion was almost too much to bear.
I collapsed onto the floor. The tingling in my body finally coming to an end. But the filthy, bio hazardous mess was still left. I must clean. I took the body, and threw him down the laundry chute. Hmmmm…the body won’t fit.
His large phallus got him into this mess, and it would get him out. I took my Swiss army knife and began cutting off his member. The pop sound of my knife entering and the deep, tight sliding of my knife sent chills of joy down my spine. Once I finished, the body slid down the chute. I calmly walked downstairs, hands shaking, and shoved the body into the dryer. High seemed like a good setting. Once I heard the mangled corpse rumbling around, I went up to Mother.
“Mother, it’s time for my bath.”
Oh, Mother. So naïve. As I undressed for my bath, I noticed Mother’s hands shaking as she prepared the bath. She scrubbed my body raw, harder, and harder. I closed my eyes, dreaming of the feel of blood and metal sliding through my hands.
“Alright, Son. You’re finished.”
WHAT?!?!?!?!? THAT BITCH WAS NOT DONE WITH ME YET!!! NO!!! HOW DARE SHE?!?!? No! No… No… I would get my pleasure, one way or another.
I grabbed at her hair and slammed her face into the side of the tub. My arms tensed and trembling. Blood and teeth spatter around the baby blue tile floor.
“You dirty, filthy whore. You will not treat me this way. I will get what I want.” I ran downstairs naked and wet. I reached into one of the kitchen drawers and grabbed the pliers. I felt light as air as I climbed the stairs slowly back up to the bathroom. Upon entering the room, I took in my surroundings of blood, teeth, and anticipation. I was ready for this. I would be in charge now.
I reached down and lifted Mother’s unconscious head and pulled her into my lap. Her soft, graying hair brushing against my throbbing genitals. I needed more though. MORE! I jammed the pliers into Mother’s mouth and began twisting and ripping out her teeth.
The popping sound of teeth sliding out of her old, withered, decaying gums. Blood mixed with saliva dribbled out of her mouth. Her mouth was left as an empty cavern of warmth, wetness, and wild pleasure. I held Mother’s head softly and slid her mouth onto my throbbing shaft. Oh the pleasure. The warmth. The blood. Ugh, all that blood. Yes. Yes. I felt my body lose control as I started to thrust deeper and harder into her mouth.
I felt the back of her throat close around me. NO! I needed to go farther. I pulled my slimy, quivering shaft out of Mother’s mouth and dug the pliers into the back of her throat. I rammed, and jammed, and thrust, and penetrate. Once I felt her spine, I opened the pliers, squeezed them onto the rough bone, and yanked with all my might. The crack of the bone, the twang of the spinal cord breaking, Mother’s body jolting as her spinal cord disconnected her conscious. I threw her to the ground, got over her mouth, and thrust deep into her mouth, harder, harder, harder!!!!! Uuughhhhh! I collapsed down onto the ground, ooze dripping out of my descending member. The blood surrounding me was like a blanket of comfort. I laid my head on Mother’s cold chest, and fell asleep...