Very well done, I enjoyed the slow build to the finish. Only complaint: needs more pics. Not of the end- that negative Mickey is perfect- just of a gate or something. That would help to set it off at the beginning a bit more. Very satisfying creepy pasta. TDKMC1 (talk) 04:09, January 2, 2013 (UTC)
H-hoooooly CRAAP!! That was creepy as hell! Right before my review, I'm just going to say that this deserves an 11/10. Oh yes. The suspense of the story was just...wow. It really brought you into it. The grounds seem like they're just ruins, but as the plot progresses, there is something sinister inside, something not of this world, and something certainly not Disney-like. The python bit was really creepy, too. Add up all the little details, such as the voices the narrator hears in the room, and the running electricity/water in a place that should have no electricity or water, and you have yourself a very creeped-out reader. And all that suspense eventually leads up to an ending that's
1. Not a shock ending (eg. something TOTALLY OUT OF THE PLOT)
2. Not predictable (eg. the narrator was a ghost)
3. Abso-fucking-lutely GORGEOUS.
I was literally shaking as the Mickey Mouse costume got up. It just summed everything right up. That the place was not of this world. And, adding to all of that, beautiful, just beautiful, narration that drags you in. Of course, there are a few minor issues: when I started reading the pasta, I thought it'd just be another cliche detail pasta of a place. And 'ABANDONED BY GOD'? Anyways, great, great job. Superb. *licks lips* FRAAANK!!! 07:46, December 17, 2012 (UTC)
Oh man, this was some GOOD pasta, seriously. The initial exposition is long without getting boring, the descriptions are flawless and the suspense just draws you in. Only thing I think could've been done better was the last writing on the way out. "ABANDONED BY DISNEY" again would simply terrify me, and it's just more fitting.
- I absolutely agree with you. If that last thing is "ABANDONED BY DISNEY" again, it'd be horrific. --I'm not a staff here, so I can't get a signature like this. 17:37, January 20, 2013 (UTC)
PotM for January (hopefully). Loved this pasta. 10/1017:09, December 31, 2012 (UTC)
This shouldnt be Pasta of the Month.
This should be Pasta of the YEAR.
This, sir, is the perfect definition for what is wonderful Creepypasta. I wanted to hear more at every little turn. This should be narrated on youtube! Serpentaxy400 (talk) 05:48, January 2, 2013 (UTC)
More from Slimebeast Edit
This was one of several stories Slimebeast (Chris Wolf) wrote in just the past two months, most of them for the pasta writing contest on Bogleech. You can read all contest entries here, but others by Chris Wolf are as follows:
ALL of these are gold. You could say he's totally new to the "scene" but as soon as he started posting stories I knew people would love his narration and concepts. Some people are lucky if they churn out half this many good stories in a year, but he did these in like, eight weeks...and a few others, too, currently on the site forums and a couple more already on the wiki here. (Perfectly Normal Eric is another one)
Oh, shit Edit
Absolutely fabulous. 10/10 11:29, January 3, 2013 (UTC)
Good lord this scared me at the end, nice build up to the end AzelfandQuilava 18:06, January 4, 2013 (UTC)
Wow, this was just amazing. I like how the details of the place were described so perfectly, it definately made me feel as if I was really there. Fantastic job, I see why this pasta is featured! FandomSketcher (talk) 17:42, January 5, 2013 (UTC)
Absolutely magnificent. I truly enjoyed reading this one. I read it before it was on the Monthly list, and felt paranoid and a mix of emotions. Truly great. SatanicsAnd Chains (talk) 21:32, January 6, 2013 (UTC)SatanicsAnd Chains
Now this is a Creepypasta. None of that cliche "blood everywhere", but actually creepy things nightmares are made out of.
Oh god, oh god, oh, OH GOD. That was perfect! 100/10, well done! user:Mr Bio Shock 21:10, January 8, 2013 (UTC)
10/10 one of the best pastas I have ever read. Keep up the good work.MalevolentMe (talk) 21:29, January 8, 2013 (UTC)malevolentme
For anyone interested EditSatanicsAnd Chains (talk) 05:38, January 13, 2013 (UTC)
Oh yeah - more pictures here: http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/disney-blunder/ AlexGRFan97 (talk) 10:34, January 13, 2013 (UTC)
This site includes the smashed toilets and whatnot.
Well, this was a surprise...Edit
A new pasta that actually isn't bad. I give this a 9/10. The atmosphere is built up well, the narrator is believable, and it's even based on an actual place. However, there is one flaw that just won't go away. The very end. Now, don't get my wrong, it's very proper and nice but... it just doesn't flow well. The narrator, throughout the story, is a very detailed and not conservative with his words, but this flips during the end. It gives a strange vibe.
Explanation on some parts please. Edit
That was a great creepy pasta im just wondering though why was the mascots blood yellow, and why did Disney abandon this place. Mabey I missed something if anyone could explain, but overall it was really good.
The mascot wasn't human, so that's why its blood was yellow. Why did Disney abandon the place? It pretty much says it at the very end. "They didn't want anyone like me getting in. They didn't want anything like that getting out." -- TongueOfSathan (talk) 13:07, January 17, 2013 (UTC)
There's one thing I don't get... It's just one Nega-Mickey! Just go in Rambo style! Unless it's unkillable, then just use explosive ammunition, dismember it, and throw it in a wood chipper! Achievement Get: Reclaimed the Palace! Linksbro1 (talk) 14:39, January 17, 2013 (UTC)
RoG of I-Mockery took a tour of the place many, many years ago. http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/disney-blunder/ 22:04, January 19, 2013 (UTC)
I love this one. I read the Mickey Mouse scene over and over, it's just so awesome. I retold it to my friend at lunch, and the head-coming-off part must have been descriptive, he nearly hurled. X3 Keep up the wonderful work!
One of the better pastas out there. keep up the stunningly amazing work.
A new favorite of mine. <3
CHUNKY YELLOW BLOOD. D: oh man, that last horrific detail to sum up the whole thing, just how grotesque and hellish the place really is.. i love that you didn't stick with the 'fire and brimstone' sort of demonic, OMG-THIS-IS-SCARY-SO-BE-SCARED-GOD-DAMMIT vein of imagery, nor did you go with 'ooo, spooky! something moved in the mirror that didn't move in real life, aahhhh!!' sort of stuff. this was totally original, and yet you still managed to portray the stagnant, dead, and truly evil atmosphere of the place, right down to the grisly negative-mickey. it's almost like he came from some other dimension, but whatever 'organic' matter he was composed of just didn't translate right into the properties of our universe, what with the dead pixels on the camera and all, and perhaps even the photo-negative colours. as if he were made from anti-matter or something. amazing job at weaving together such a heavy and vivid tapestry of sensory details. how mickey [yekcim? ;D] was lying there 'like a murder victim,' ooogh.. that part alone gave me chills. you're really talented, and you've inspired me so much as a writer from this piece alone! [☣:кiløнэятzєn:☣] 16:54, February 6, 2013 (UTC)
I know that the Treasure Island was real... look it up. Mowgli's Palace sounds too cool to be part of Disney.
I'm normally very...critical and harsh when it comes to ratings, but 10/10. I love this. It had a Silent Hill feeling to it (but not like you were trying for it to be Silent Hill-like). Gave me shudders. This is probably my favorite story on here that is actually scary (as the One White Whisker series, Dogscape, and a few others are more werid than scary). Very good. Very good, indeed. NimhShambler (talk) 05:08, June 8, 2013 (UTC)NimhShambler
Updated Score Edit
After some though, I've decided to change my score for this. 8.5/10 -14:44, July 25, 2013 (UTC)
Great Creepypasta. The sheer idea that this might be real, and there's no way to prove it isn't, is creepy in itself. Loved reading it, and have listened to it multiple times. Eagle Snipe 3.0 (talk) 19:40, June 24, 2013 (UTC)E.S.3.0.
Creative, unique, and nicely written & formatted. Bravo.
This is my favorite Creepypasta of all time. Or at least as of now. There was a lot of build up, and a good shock ending. Great job! 10/10
Now THAT was fantastic. You managed to add a little amount of gore, without making it sound forced and sort of sloppy. I also absolutely loved the hints all throughout the story that made it seem like something dark and sinister was there.
This is an amazing pasta. Extremely well written, unnerving, and even well-sourced. 30 million/10. I agree with some of the others though, more pictures would be awesome, although of course in the pasta the narrator says he never got the pictures off the camera. Awesome pasta. TheBodyVolcanic (talk) 03:04, August 13, 2013 (UTC)