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The first time I saw him was when I was sat in bed on a cold winters evening, it got dark pretty quick because it was around the time snow started to fall. It was freezing cold and I couldn't get up because I had terrible pains in my legs from falling on the ice. I lay there, tired, in pain and ready to drop off, when a sudden gust of air blows through my curtains. I shouted downstairs, "Jenny!" (My best friend of all time, who lived with me temporarily.) "Jen?" I shouted.
"Yes Ellie?!" She shouted back "What's up?" She asked whilst walking up the stairs.
"Could you close the window please? Sorry to bother you." I asked politely.
"Sure!" She said reaching for the curtains and drawing them back. "There, it's closed, is that all?" She asked smiling at me "Want anything else?"
"No thanks." I replied yawning and stretching "I'm going to sleep now!"
"Ok then, see you tomorrow, I'll be in the next room if you need me." Jenny gave me a thumbs up and walked off.
I nodded and propped my head against the pillow and dropped off.
I woke up a few hours later around midnight, the air was humid and warm... Which was unusual for what season it was. I got up for a drink of water. It is hard to explain what I saw but when I saw it, I don't remember what happened for at least a day afterwards.
It was just sat there... Frowning... It never blinked... It never moved... It just sat.. Staring. Right at me. Its face was a bright white colour, its eyes were black and diamond shaped. It had no nose, but its mouth was open and sad-looking. I couldn't help but look harder. I woke up later on in bed, when I know I had fallen into the door of my cupboard.
It wasn't a dream. I saw it. With my very eyes, it was momentarily peaceful. When I was in my state of... Let's just say unconsciousness... I didn't want to leave, until the moment when he looked at me again. It felt like he looked straight into my soul. Could he do that? Could he read me like a book?
I didn't look into it that much. Maybe Jenny slipped some medication for my legs, into a breakfast without telling me some of the side effects, at least, that's what I thought at the time.
I started a diary of my accounts with this... THING. I called him the stareman. That's all he did. Stare and frown.
The next night it happened again, but this time he had the dearest thing to me from my childhood. He had Harriet my favourite doll from when I was 6 or 7, but how could he of got that.. My old house burned down from a cooking accident... It was all destroyed. Including that doll. Watching my house go down like that was traumatizing. I had to go to a weird place, that looked like a hospital for a while until we could move into a new house. My mum and dad still worked so the people there had to look after me, since my older sister moved in with her boyfriend she couldn't look after me anymore.
Again and again he sat there, but he didn't scare me he didn't harm me. One time, he actually gave me a photograph that we thought we lost in the fire. I was scared to come into contact with it, but its long, gripping claws didn't seem to go for me. He just wanted to give me this photo. He offered me it but I pushed my hands forwards, gesturing for him to take it back. "Hrrr..." he mumbled, "rrrrreh" I took it from the Stareman and for the first time, he smiled.
I was beginning to think I was crazy. I wouldn't dream of telling Jen. She would tell the hospital and make me tell them about it, she would look after me.. but she would think it was for my own good. When I woke up my hands were grasped tightly on this photo. I looked at it, this was the one I took on the day our house burned down. It's my sister on the see saw and a blurred out person in the back, sat on the rocking chair. I don't remember seeing him on the day, but it was obvious who it was. Just fit it together, like a jigsaw.
It may not sound so bad right now but having him sat at the end of your bed every night is quite creepy.
Seeing him look at you. Sleeping. Frowning. Watching over. Who said guardian angels had to be pretty blonde girls in white frocks. maybe its my inner beast trying to tell me something. Whoever he is, he doesn't seem a threat to me right now.
I just wanted to communicate with him some how. So I waited until he came and I asked him, "What would you like from me? I have a lot to give."
He groaned and I looked inquisitive.
He holds out his palm and I look at it. It's empty.
I look and I ask what he would like again.
He groans and looks at his hand, this time it's got an ultrasound picture of me.
I'm not alone. There's a second baby.
I take it and thank him. Then head back off to bed with it in my pocket. I clutched it tightly.
In the morning I spoke to my mother.
"Did you only have me and my sister?" I ask
"Why... Wha.. What do you mean, hun?" She replied, shocked and looked very scared.
She looked down at her feet and told me the words I will never forget through out my lifetime.
"I promised your twin sister to the hands of the unknown."
"Who is the unknown?" I asked looking rather unsurprised.
"A man, bright white skin and black diamond eyes..." She said staring at me.
I looked at her with eyes wide open and my jaw dropped.
"He's here... for me," I shouted, "Why... Why isn't he hurting me?"
"He is, Ellie, He is." my mother looked behind me.
"LOOK AT MY FACE AND TELL ME HOW!" I demanded.
She dropped to the floor... Dead.
I felt a sudden flash of madness over me. I flipped her over and took a kitchen knife from her drawer. I carved the words on her back, "Listen before you sign a verbal contract."
I flipped her on her front and opened her stomach, I took out many of the different organs... Like the intestines. I took them out and wrapped them around her neck. I took out one lung and lay it across her chest. Then I got up and fled. I had to get out.
All this time the stareman was behind me. I smiled at him and ran to a mirror. I cut up my face violently. I cut triangle shapes around my eyes and cut my nose off completely. Being like him was the best thing that could happen.
I love the stareman.