A few years ago, zombies were ingrained in pop culture and I was a big fan. I even had one of those goofy t-shirts that said how I was really excited about the coming “zombie apocalypse.” I would joke with my friends about all the weapons I was buying (with silencers for all the guns, of course), the shelter I was building, the provisions I was storing, the whole nine yards.

It was all bullshit. I didn’t do any of those things.

I wish I had. I think the door to the basement is starting to give.