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Please Understand

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I don’t have a lot of time off, but when I do I spend my time reading people’s submissions on this site and a few others. I enjoy all of the “I need your help now” pastas. They really are enthralling. This is not one of those submissions. I simply want you to understand. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, so I do apologize for any mistakes I make in writing this. I can only hope you’re able to look past those mistakes.

There are so many entries about evil entities and people, how the devil made me do it. Well the truth is, the devil really did make me do it. I was stupid to agree to the terms without really looking into them. They weren’t exactly written out and I only had 3 questions to ask. It didn’t really dawn on me to save any of the questions for the price of the questions. I’m not sure if that makes sense but I’m getting ahead of myself anyways.

I suppose I should start as close to the beginning as possible. I had a best friend a few years back. She meant the world to me and I dare say that I may have developed some more intimate feelings for her towards the end. She really held me together. I’d often thought about taking my life and then something as simple as her smile would flash across my thoughts and I’d suddenly feel better about life and its possible outcomes. She truly did mean the world to me. I received news of her death early in the morning. They called me from her cell phone to tell me. I’d thought she was calling me to tell me good morning like she always had. Instead I was given the worse news I would ever receive.

It took me longer than a year for my mourning to calm down. Everyone told me she was in a better place, so on and so forth. I think it just made them uncomfortable to see my pain on such an open display. I had a hard time seeing how I would survive without her. I felt like she would leave little signs for me, letting me know she was there. It helped some and I started to get better. The hardest thing of all was not knowing what happened. They couldn’t find a reason for her death and chalked it up to natural causes. I would have my enraged moments and scream “Why?” over and over again. I never got an answer, until one night a few days after the second anniversary of her death.

I was in my room asleep. I don’t think I had had an unusual day or anything like that. I remember getting the chills but being hot at the same time. That kind of sticky and prickly hot feeling? I opened my eyes to see something above my head. Something’s head was hovering. I tried to sit up but I couldn’t move. I’m sure there are others out here that have experienced sleep paralysis or something similar. I thought that was what it was at first. I panicked but the only thing I could move were my eyes. I glanced here and there but the figure that loomed overhead never moved. Until it moved. I can only assume its hands gripped my shoulders. I felt what I thought were claws dig into my skin. I opened my mouth to scream but only a squeak came out. The thing leaned forward and I was able to see just what it was, or what it looked like. It had some type of black cloth covering its head, like a cloak or hood. It almost looked like some type of deer or goat skull beneath the cloth. I’m not sure, I have no actual animal skull expertise but I think that’s what it resembled the most.

Any other facial features seemed nonexistent. It spoke but nothing moved on its skull. Its voice was loud but quiet. It reverberated yet had an unsettling stillness to it. I felt what I assumed was its breath across my face. It had a sickeningly sweet smell to it. It told me that I had questions and it had answers, but I was only allowed three. I was also warned to keep in mind that these answers come with a cost.

Idiotically, I asked “Questions?” That was one. It reminded me that I always wanted to know what happened to my best friend and why.

“Why did she have to die?” I asked it.

He told me that there were things she needed to accomplish and could only do so through death. That made no sense to me.

“Why did she have to leave me?” I asked my third question.

He said that she was chosen and that I was not. I tried to shake my head, I tried to move but nothing responded.

“That doesn’t make sense. What does that mean?” I felt its grip loosen but it placed its hand on my chest.

I had asked too many questions. I felt an icy burning sensation rip through my chest. I screamed in agony and was finally able to curl my body into a ball. It was gone but I knew that it would return. I sat up and looked around. I saw nothing, heard nothing. I touched my chest to find no evidence of a wound or scar. I’d always been a vivid dreamer. I was sure this was just another one.

Weeks passed and my days were as normally uneventful as they had been without her. I didn’t think much about the dream that I had the few weeks earlier until one afternoon. I sat in the park under a tree. I was reading a book in an attempt to help with my idle and boring time. I slowly became aware of a sickening sweet smell. I became aware of a presence on my right. I turned acknowledging it. It didn’t move or speak. I only heard a thought in my head. It was time. I didn’t know what it was time for, but when I started to refuse I felt the burning inside of my chest. It stood and walked off. I followed.

You see, this is where I ask for your understanding. I never wanted to do this, I never wanted to become this. I just missed her so much and I wanted to know why she had to go. I didn’t think it unfair. I just wanted a reason for it. I never would have wished that pain on anyone and now… Now it’s all that I do. I take the young. I take their souls, their life forces. I take them somewhere I’m not allowed to go. I’m not even allowed to discuss it, although I don’t really have anyone to discuss it with. I know that I am now the cause for the “Why’s” I never wanted to be, please understand. I tried to refuse, I tried to turn back. I didn’t care about the costs of the questions back then. If only I had thought to question myself. Please understand.

I wish I could go into more detail, but it is time for me to go. I have a long list tonight. There are so many people asking “Why?”

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