I am in hysterics as I watch him place the tanto against his throat, with that hollow look in his eyes and that dead expression. "PLEASE STOP!" I yell, feeling helpless. I can only sit here and scream at him to stop through our Skype video call. He lives in dorm 14-A, and I'm all the way over in dorm 5-C. If I run now, I just know that when I get there, I'll find my boyfriend slumped in his chair with his throat split wide open. "DON'T DO IT, PLEASE!!" I scream through tears as my entire body is trembling with adrenaline. He doesn't answer me, instead he just smirks.
"I BEG YOU, STOP!!!" But my pleading is in vain, as he digs the blade into his neck and slides it from his left to his right side, and the whole time I am shrieking and sobbing from my devastation. I watch the man who has loved me unconditionally for half a year gurgle and cough while blood falls from his self inflicted gash like a waterfall. He drops the knife, and with his dying breath, he manages to choke out the words, "I... love.... you..." before he falls backwards, his chair going down with him.
"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!" I scream until I taste metal in the back of my throat, and start loudly bawling and shaking. But no matter how much I scream, no matter how much I want this not to be true, he is still dead. I know his mother will be devastated too. His death will be ruled as a suicide. But I know better. And sure enough, the fucking Skype instant messenger chirps at me again when I finally stop wailing. I look up and see that smug bastard ghost in Matt's video feed again. He fucking smirks at me, and even though he's a ghost with cloudy white eyes and a gaping hole in his chest, I'm more furious than I am afraid. The IM reads:
Stevie: I take it you enjoyed the show
I was already hyperventilating and gritting my teeth with pure fury, but his little shit eating grin and message release all my grief and rage into one primal scream of vulgarity. "FUCK YOU!!! FUCK!!! YOU!!! FUUUUUCK YOOUUUU!!!" I shriek through eyes so watery that I have to blink them to clear my vision. For a split second I think to myself that it's a small wonder my neighbors haven't screamed at me to shut the fuck up or come to check on me. Steven's ghost just grins ear to ear with so much malice that it slightly terrifies me, but still enrages me. He responds:
Stevie: U mad?
Stevie: I told you he couldn't save you
Stevie: Guess you're a Forsaken Girl again, huh? lol
I start sobbing again, and screaming through the screen at a fucking ghost, "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KILL HIM! I KNOW IT'S ME YOU'RE AFTER, JUST FUCKING DO IT ALREADY!!!"
Stevie: I dunno...
Stevie: That was my original plan, but... seeing how you reacted just now... I think I might delay your death...
Stevie: After all, that actually felt pretty damn good
I shriek at him again, "YOU SADISTIC FUCK!!! I'M SORRY FOR KILLING YOU! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT??"
Suddenly, another user joins the conversation. My skin crawls and I get a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach when I read the username "OtakuMage89" Steven also seems to take notice to this, because his facial expression changes from malicious schadenfreude to curiosity and confusion.
OtakuMage89: Then why kill her at all?
Stevie: Huh? Who are you?
OtakuMage89: You seem to feed off her devastation, right? Why not keep her alive?
Steven seems to ponder this for a few seconds, meanwhile I'm having an emotional cocktail of confusion, disbelief, grief, fear, and indignation. All this topped off with the dread feeling that I know exactly who OtakuMage89 is. Steven finally replies:
Stevie: Go on
OtakuMage89: Wouldn't it be more satisfying for you to watch her sanity slowly unravel, thread by thread, until she can no longer discern what is real?
OtakuMage89: Doesn't it seem more gratifying to make her life a living hell?
Steven seems to mull this over in his head for 10 dreadful seconds, as a wicked and toothy smile crosses his face. I can't believe I'm watching two people, one knowingly being a fucking vengeful spirit, conspiring to turn my life into a living nightmare like I'm not even here observing this. I'm equal parts terrified and outraged, yet I feel so defenseless. Steven finally replies:
Stevie: I like the way you think
Stevie: I'll play along
OtakuMage89: I'll help you.
"Oh fuck you, OtakuMage89!" I think to myself
Stevie: You know this girl?
OtakuMage89: Yes. I was the first person to die of a "heart attack"
"Oh my god..." I say under my breath as a wave of nausea and realization hits me
Stevie: I know you
OtakuMage89: Yes, Serena and I have... met
Stevie: Ah, sounds personal...
Stevie: Tell you what
Stevie: Just call me whenever you need me
Stevie: My plans have changed.
OtakuMage89: Will do.
Steven's ghost smirks and mockingly waves goodbye as Matt's video feed ends and the call ends, and the username Stevie signs out.
I'm left just staring at my laptop in a catatonic state. I can barely process what just happened. The whole experience was emotionally draining and chaotic, and now two ghosts are double teaming me to make my life a living hell. But I do know who OtakuMage89 is. And knowing this only makes me feel sicker. Every hair on my body stands up on end as I suddenly hear a voice in my own head. The voice of my first boyfriend, Joseph.
"I am sorry for everything I have done to hurt you, Serena" He says. I start trembling, unable to speak. "I promise you I will never leave you again. I love you" Those words make me shudder and I have to choke back vomit and tears. "And I will destroy anyone who tries to take you away from me..."
"No, fuck you..." I think to myself. I want to die. I want to end all this. I feel enough guilt for my past, and for the murders. I don't want to be haunted anymore. I finally whisper, "If you two don't want to kill me, I will..." Joseph's voice fills my thoughts again, "I won't let you" I get up out of my chair and start toward the kitchen to get a knife. "Just try and stop me!" I shout aloud. As I finish that sentence, it becomes increasingly harder to move.
Every step feels like my body is growing heavier. The words, "Please stop..." are whispered in my head. "No..." I say aloud, despite the difficulty to move. "Please, stop..." He echoes again. As I cross the threshold of the kitchen, I become completely paralyzed, collapsing into a trembling fetal position. My body doesn't even belong to me anymore, and I feel trapped within. I start quietly sobbing in desperation. "Please stop..." keeps echoing in my head, and I can no longer distinguish whether it's coming from me or Joseph.
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