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Over Again

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Have you ever experienced déjà vu? That feeling when you've experienced a memory or dream that usually doesn't mean anything, maybe a memory of yourself eating dinner with your parents, or seeing someone that you know you've never seen before. It's a strange occurrence that has no explanation to why it happens, it's just a mystery of the brain. Everyone experiences this, but no one really gives a fuck about it. You usually just get that feeling in the pit of your stomach suggesting that you've lived through this experience before, but you immediately dismiss it as a strange coincidence, finding some logical explanation to set your mind at ease.

I woke up in a cold sweat from a nightmare I could not recall. Breathing heavily I sat up and checked the time. 7:45. I got up and made my breakfast of peanut butter toast and coffee when I got the feeling that I had done this before. I dismissed this as déjà vu and continued about my usual routine. I drove down to the corner of Main and Fitzgerald and stopped at the intersection. Why was this feeling still with me, this didn't make sense. I tried to forget about the instance, but the feeling never left my body.

As I parked outside of the office building, I looked up. The sun was clouded over by dark grey clouds and I frowned. The weather forecast said a beautiful sunny day, and now it's turned to shit. The sense got stronger. Of course I had been here before, it was where I worked! I said to myself.  but this, it was really starting to annoy the hell out of me. I finished the last of my coffee and placed my mug on the desk. My cubicle was small, and the pay was mediocre, but I had no other way of paying rent. I looked at the computer screen and scrolled through my emails.

Again the  awareness of it all flared. My stomach churned with the consciousness that I had indeed been here before. Enough is enough! I screamed slamming my mouse on to the desk causing it to shatter in to pieces. I seized my bag from under the table and left the building. I stormed out of the building, I could feel the glares of my colleagues burn in to the back of my head, but I just didn't care anymore.

I sped down the highway, that constant feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that I had been here before. I zoned out of consciousness trying to figure out what this was all about. Déjà vu was only supposed to last less than a minute right? At that very moment, I wasn't concentrating, I wasn't watching the traffic light turn red. When I finally tuned back in, a blur, going at what seemed 100 miles per hour sped straight in to the side of my car. I felt no pain as the side of my car door pierced my skin, my head jolted to the side as flecks of glass forced their way in to my skin, but still that feeling never left me. I felt no pain in that moment. I watched as my blood poured out of my deep wounds and as if on cue, felt myself fall unconscious.

I woke up in a cold sweat from a bad dream that I could not recall. I sat up and checked the time. 7:45. I got up and made my breakfast of peanut butter toast and coffee when I had gotten the feeling that I had done this before.

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