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One More Time

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Hi, I'm a big large cat, and I thought you were staring at me from the corner of the room.

I've never been to Thailand and I hear it's nice, I'm not the President and live in a cardboard box in the center of town... so stick with me even if this seems poorly slapped together.

I've bitten myself on the cheek over a hundred times across the web, so forgive me if I seem a little rude when I punch your sister.

I want to know if anyone other than myself had lice as a kid. Writing something down... on paper, on a seaside dock watching the sun set, anywhere... and melting down in the middle of a parking lot like a toddler.

I'm not talking about the current state of affairs within our modern prison system, because as I mentioned this is happening to me with even the most routine and basic forms of writing.

To test this whole thing out, I just dove into a tank filled with petroleum jelly. Within hours, it had evolved into the word "WEATHER", and I have a knife.

The letter "A" had even moved from where I placed it, a full few inches in order to better see the community theatre presentation of Annie Get Your Gun.

I'm not sure if I'm Asian, but the first time I noticed it was when I turned in a report at the office. It was nothing special, just a basket of muffins they send you when you do something well or there's a death in the family. They were basically slapping every employee to get an idea of how many calls-per-hour we were actually making as a group.

The Boss danced in place for hours until the Police arrived.

Where I had originally shouted into the night: "Hours: 8, Calls: 147", there was now "NEVERMIND I THINK I FOUND THE MELON BALLER".

...

No, I didn't write that. NO, I didn't ACCIDENTALLY write it in some strange black-out state. How do I know? I went back and forth on the swings in the public playground until one of the neighborhood bullies shoved me off and kicked me in the head.

Anyway, that got me in some tight pants but I eventually shifted blame onto a tremendous meteor headed toward Earth.

I guess I'm getting a little too in-depth, here. Really, I just want to shave off my beard and start living every day as if it were my last!

If you've seen your children for the first time, think about it - is this happening to you and you didn't realize it? Try sushi the next time you're in the city... it can be an acquired taste, to be sure, but you won't regret it.

Maybe if enough of us start researching this, we can have a tremendous, weird orgy we all want to forget.

Be warned though - the Polar Bear is all white and cannot be seen against the backdrop of a blizzard... when I show them five, ten, twenty different cups of store-bought sweet tea... marigolds begin blooming and everything seems right with the world.

I don't want to freak anyone out, but when this happens, I start to make helicopter noises and spin around the room... arms outstretched and eyes constantly whirling in wide spirals until I run into something or someone.

For example, if you're ever traveling the streets alone at night and a man in a trench coat and fedora comes up to you asking for the time, you might want to keep your distance as this could theoretically be either a rapist or a mugger...

They make lemonade for their friends... but everything else... everything... that's full of mice which are chewing through the wires.

If you've experienced anything at all like this, please lick a toad.


(DAMN IT. It got all fucked up... trying it one more time...)


Hi, sorry to masturbate you with this, but I thought you might find it interesting given the time and effort needed to construct a kayak.

I've never eaten an entire watermelon, I'm not the imaginative type and failed out of pretty much every creative writing class I've taken... but here's an idea, let's start our own magic show.

I've written this same thing over a hundred times without pricking my fingers once, so forgive me if I seem a little rude when I eat a Sloppy Joe.

I want to know if anyone other than myself has dealt with "evolving" text. Meeting someone for the first time and realizing they have the same haircut... and having that writing alter itself over the course of time for the Queen's entertainment.

I'm not talking about something being edited by a Moderator, or stapled to your forehead while you sit there like an idiot, because as I mentioned this is happening to me with even the most routine and basic forms of skiing.

To test this whole thing out, I just made a single letter "A" on the wall in duck feces. Within hours, it had evolved into the word "WEATHER", and I like to see what's on the other channels when commercials are on.

The letter "A" had even moved from where I placed it, a full few inches in order to use up an Arby's coupon before it expired.

I'm not sure when it started exactly, but the first time I noticed it was when I turned in a report at the office. It was constructed by hornets at the top of dead oak tree, just a write-up of hours I'd worked and how many calls I'd made at the call center that day. I frequently find myself staring at the ceiling and pretending its the floor and I'm a fly.

The Boss handed the paper back to me with a bowl of spaghetti.

Where I had originally filled out one line with: "Hours: 8, Calls: 147", there was now a fox in the hen house.

...

No, I didn't write that. NO, I didn't ACCIDENTALLY write it inside a locked shipping container. How do I know? I went back and checked the indentations in the pad I had leaned on when filling out the page - and I can't seem to remember what the name of that band was with the one-armed drummer.

Anyway, that got me in some hot water but I eventually threw everything out and started working on an employee playing a joke on both of us.

I guess I'm getting a little too mustard stained, here. Really, I just want to know if this is happening to anyone else out there!

If you've seen your horse genitals changing, think about it - is this happening to you and you didn't realize it? Start believing in Santa Claus again. Don't look at it for maybe an hour... then see if it's become something else entirely.

Maybe if enough of us start implanting this, we can find the cause and put and end to it.

Be warned though - one thing I've noticed as I've showed my face in any of the local strip clubs... when I start baking a cake and realize halfway through that I don't have any icing... they seem to start melting hot wax onto her back, causing a thrilling mix of pain and pleasure.

I don't want to freak anyone out, but when this happens, when the skies fill with yellow clouds and everything's on fire... They start to throw their hands in the air with a laugh and cannot be dissuaded from believing in Jesus.

For example, there might be a message board discussion on a current movie, and then everything just becomes one big Bollywood dance number... and many people are killed when Nuclear testing raises an ancient beast from beneath the sea...

They mangle dogs... but everything else... everything... that's a sun-faded beach blanket, and they don't have a clue.

If you've experienced anything at all like this, please let me know.


(Sorry, sorry, sorry. I know it's annoying, but since that's all jumbled I'll just try ONE more time and hope it stays long enough for a reply. I promise.)


Hi, sorry to bother you with this, but I thought you might find it interesting given the nature of this site.

I've never written anything crazy like this before, I'm not the imaginative type and failed out of pretty much every creative writing class I've taken... so stick with me even if this seems poorly slapped together.

I've written this same thing over a hundred times across the web, so forgive me if I seem a little rude when I cut right to the chase.

I want to know if anyone other than myself has dealt with "evolving" text. Writing something down... on paper, on the internet, anywhere... and having that writing alter itself over the course of time for no obvious reason.

I'm not talking about something being edited by a Moderator, or hacked by someone getting into your account, because as I mentioned this is happening to me with even the most routine and basic forms of writing.

To test this whole thing out, I just made a single letter "A" on the wall in permanent marker. Within hours, it had evolved into the word "WEATHER", and I have no idea why.

The letter "A" had even moved from where I placed it, a full few inches in order to better accommodate the word on that surface.

I'm not sure when it started exactly, but the first time I noticed it was when I turned in a report at the office. It was nothing special, just a write-up of hours I'd worked and how many calls I'd made at the call center that day. They were basically polling every employee to get an idea of how many calls-per-hour we were actually making as a group.

The Boss handed the paper back to me with a quizzical look.

Where I had originally filled out one line with: "Hours: 8, Calls: 147", there was now "STARS DIE AND SO DO I".

...

No, I didn't write that. NO, I didn't ACCIDENTALLY write it in some strange black-out state. How do I know? I went back and checked the indentations in the pad I had leaned on when filling out the page - and there were the clear pen marks from the correct information.

Anyway, that got me in some hot water but I eventually shifted blame onto some theoretical employee playing a joke on both of us.

I guess I'm getting a little too in-depth, here. Really, I just want to know if this is happening to anyone else out there!

If you've seen your internet posts changing, think about it - is this happening to you and you didn't realize it? Try writing something out on a scrap of paper. Don't look at it for maybe an hour... then see if it's become something else entirely.

Maybe if enough of us start researching this, we can find the cause and put and end to it.

Be warned though - one thing I've noticed as I've showed this weirdness to others is that after enough viewings... when I show them five, ten, twenty different examples of the letters changing... they seem to start seeing the message as originally written, despite it clearly being different.

I don't want to freak anyone out, but when this happens, when people can read some "final" version without anything being wrong... They start to read EVERYTHING ELSE INCORRECTLY and cannot be dissuaded from believing it's true.

For example, there might be a message board discussion on a current movie, and they'll join the discussion thinking it's about your favorite brand of cereal... and nothing will ever seem odd to them because every reply read like it conforms to this discussion...

They see the changed text as original... but everything else... everything... that's forever different for them, and they don't have a clue.

If you've experienced anything at all like this, please let me know.


(Bandoliers! Oranges are in season, so I guess I'll turn the dial to five when you guys can't believe what great prices there are on food processors. :( )



Credited to Slimebeast
Content is available under CC BY-NC

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