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Never Changing

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It's all the game's fault... blaming a game... something a child would do, I know. I can't change anything about it. It all started when I was playing Gears of War 3, just an average day as always after school. I was a little bored and decided to just check my friend's list to see what they were doing, and to my surprise, one of my friends was playing the demo for Dead Space 3.

I quickly went to the dashboard and went to the game marketplace, but I couldn't find it. I didn't bother asking my friend. I used my laptop and found out that the demo was available early to people if they liked a Facebook page and followed the developers on Twitter. I didn't have a Twitter or a Facebook and I didn't want to make one just for a single game either.

The demo would come out to the public in just a week. I had to be patient, I wasn't. My first mistake was getting overly excited and buying the first Dead Space. I used my mom's credit card without asking her, I knew she wouldn't let me buy the game.

I also had to play it at midnight when everyone is sleeping, my brother would snitch on me if he saw me playing, he knows we don't have Dead Space. I had played the second Dead Space and was addicted to it for months, I had to play the first one, because what if they gave an in game prize to players in Dead Space 3? I didn't take the chance.

The game was bought and all I had to do was wait for it to finish installing. It was 11 pm so my brother and mom were getting ready to sleep, I set an alarm on my phone to wake me up at 3am to play. I woke up earlier than I had expected it was 2am.

I turned off my phone so the alarm would cancel and checked my downloads on my 360 and Dead Space wasn't there. I checked my games section and found it and was ready to play it when I noticed something different about my room. My brother and I share this room and he sleeps on the top bunk bed, but he wasn't there.

I also noticed my room looked like it was tilting to the right, I told myself that my mind is just playing tricks on me and my brother is probably sleeping in my mom's room. I pressed the A button on my controller and at first I thought my 360 locked up but after a minute I was greeted with the EA logo and given four options new game, load game, options, and an option that had weird writing that the unitologists use in the game.

I pressed the fourth option and the game loaded up showing a diagram of the USG Ishimura. I was controlling Isaac, but I only had one gun, the plasma cutter. I was in the beginning of a hallway with no lights but the wall behind me had dried blood all over it. I slowly walked Isaac forward and some lights on the ceiling flickered revealing more dried blood around the walls.

I checked my mission objective and it said DIE.

I didn't understand what it meant and so I decided to read the personal journal that Isaac updates on every objective. I was even more surprised as it didn't make sense to me either.

I can't believe I did that... Nicole why did you have to kill yourself... the pain is just unbearable. I'm probably the only one alive on this ship... with no way out either... what do I do?

Something must have happened to my game or I got some special DLC with Dead Space because I know for a FACT that Isaac does get off the ship, but what could he mean by "I can't believe I did that"?

I started running trying to get out of this hallway, and a I saw a door. I opened it and saw a disgusting decaying body the lights on the ceiling flickered revealing that it was the body of Nicole, maggots were exiting her empty eye sockets and open mouth. In front of her was a text log I took it and Isaac had made this log.

Nicole I did it! we can finally be whole now right? we can be together forever! The unitologists can't get us and not even the people who keep getting me killed in every horrible way imaginable, necromorphs are dead to they just stopped I don't know why but none of that matters now Nicole we'll be together forever.

I was starting to think that maybe this is what would've happened if Isaac never escaped the Ishimura and went completely insane. All of a sudden Isaac went to Nicole's dead body and his helmet lowered... he knelt down and... started eating Nicole. I could hear him making sobs mixed with pleasure as he ate Nicole and his teeth biting into the rotten meat. The screen darkened and big white letters popped up.

His sanity is all gone. Only a husk of his former self left. What about you?

My heart beat quickened and I started sweating. This game was actually talking to me I didn't know what to do, I was frozen in fear. Staying in place felt like the safest thing, but at the same time if I stayed... what if I go insane like Isaac?

Before I could decide what to do the game said please stop...

What? what does this mean? It wants to make me go insane and now it wants me to stop?!

The game returned to Isaac kneeling down again and he removed his helmet... Isaac's face was bony and pale his eyes looked empty and shriveled. He pointed his plasma cutter to his temple. It gave me the option to press LT to "live on" or RT to "End it ALL". Isaac had enough torture so I thought the reasonable choice would be to end it. Isaac's head exploded brain matter was everywhere and so was blood. The screen darkened and the final words showed up.

You gave him peace, will there be peace for you? Will you suffer greatly? Or die easy?

After those words my 360 turned off I just sat there for five whole minutes just thinking if I was going to die soon and how this all happened. I didn't want to think about it, I went to my bed and fell asleep instantly forgetting what I had just seen. I woke up in my kitchen wondering how I had gotten here, I looked around and saw a trail of blood leading to my room.

I walked slowly to my room and grabbed a sharp kitchen knife I found next to me, if there was a killer in my house then I have to defend my family any way I can. I opened the door to my room slowly but I was too late, my brother and my mom even my babysitter... tears were running down my cheeks. Their heads had been cut off. Why not me?

When I looked at my arms I saw my sleeves were covered in dried blood... and the heads of my family were tilted to the right. I had just noticed but the knife I was holding was stained with blood... when I put all the clues together it made sense I had killed my family.

I had somehow hypnotized myself with the excitement of Dead Space that I had decapitated my own family. Now all those words made sense the mission objective, the personal journal, Nicole's body representing my dead family, the text log, sanity being gone and the empty husk... and those words "please stop"... it was my family talking to me.

It's all the game's fault... blaming a game... something a child does, I know I can't change anything about it.

But I didn't do one thing yet... ending it all... I can't live with this pain like Isaac did, I'm not strong enough. I pointed the knife to my heart and with all my force I pushed it into my heart.

What did I do to deserve this? Why...?

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