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My New Laptop

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A few days ago I got a new laptop. It was a jet-black Asus with some curious peach-colored paint stuff spattered about the outside. It was straight from the store, brand-new, so of course the fact was strange. But I didn't think much of it, and I never returned it. I don't like having to deal with some stuck-up sales rep trying to get me to buy things I don't even need.

I had it for a good month or so before I noticed some weirdness. The screen would just go off suddenly, or my toolbar would just disappear. I thought of it as just a bug of some kind, so I ran an Anti-Virus scan on it. Which apparently turned out to be successful. I continued to use it like normal, and for the next few weeks nothing happened.

One day as I was goofing around, the screen went off again, which was odd, because it had been at least four weeks since that happened. It turned back on, to my relief, so I continued to play around. About an hour or so later, I was playing some music on YouTube when suddenly the screen froze, and all I could hear was a deep, loud sound that was close to that of someone quickly dragging a pen against a barred surface. It continued like this for a minute before the screen went completely white, and the laptop shut down. I have to admit, that scared me a little, because I had never seen anything like it.

Being my stubborn, absent-minded self, I decided that I could figure this mess out myself. The silly thing kept acting up more and more, until the screen went completely blank, it's appearance resembling that of an old television with no signal. At that point I just plain stopped using it, and called a computer technician. When he arrived at my house, I was a nervous wreck, and hadn't slept because the computer would turn on by itself, making a loud static noise. I tended to approach it with extreme caution, which probably made this guy think I was plain fucking insane. Well, who could blame him, I acted like it.

Nevertheless, he looked at it for an hour or so, and found nothing wrong with it. He even tried to get me to sit down with it, to no avail. He told me that none of the things I said happened, and that I should look into therapy of some sort. I would do no such thing though, all I wanted to do was get that thing out of my house.

I didn't want to talk to this guy any longer than I had to, because he was starting to tick me off. I tried to get him to take the demented laptop, but he just walked out of my house, threatening to call an insane asylum. A few hours later, I actually opened the laptop, trying to play on it once more. No luck. When I hit the power button, it turned on like normal, but as soon as it hit my desktop, it flipped out. The computer screen went red and the laptop screeched, blaring a violent, high-pitched version of a dial-up noise. At my wit's end, I slammed it shut as hard as I could, hoping to break the damn screen in the process. I was mortified. My breathing was heavy as I hugged myself, staring at the demonic piece of technology. After that nothing worked right in that house, the phone, TV, and even my MP3 player did the same thing as that stupid Laptop.

I just threw the damn thing out the window today. I took a drill to it and everything. Broke it into pieces and threw it into the creek. I'm using a library computer, I don't know why people are staring at me. Is it the fact that I'm typing like a mad man? I don't know. I just hope it worked........

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