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My Friend, Susan

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Originally titled "Susan".

Have you ever heard of imaginary friends? You know, those invisible creatures that children would create to provide an artificial friendship for themselves? It’s funny to think of how real they seem to a child when everyone knows it’s just a figment of their imagination. It’s almost as if they were real except, after a while, this “friend” dies down and you never hear about them again, usually because the child lost interest, or had just grown up. But even something so childish and friendly can have a dark side. You just never see it.

When I was in the 4th grade, I never had a lot of friends. Actually, I had no friends at all. Everyone just didn't like me. I tried making friends, but they would just turn me down for whatever reason. Everyday, I would eat my lunches alone, and spend my recesses sitting by a tree, watching how much fun everyone was having. I specifically remember how bad I wanted that, to the point where it was unbearable. After many failed attempts of acquiring a friendship, I realized that it would just be easier to make one. The plan was foolproof, because this friend couldn't say no. I was a very creative child back then, so it wasn't hard for me to create an imaginary friend.

Her name was Susan. She seemed to be around my age, and had straight blonde hair, and freckles that pasted her cheekbones and nose. She was so friendly, well to me anyways, because no one else knew her. I spent every second of the day with her. She sat with me at lunch, and we would come up with stupid jokes about school and talk about how fat my teacher was. And during recess, we would play tag. I guess no one noticed me talking to myself, or running around the field alone. She even came home with me. Susan and I were best friends throughout the rest of elementary school. By the time I hit middle school, I took note of reality and noticed how childlike an imaginary friend was.

Eventually, I stopped talking to Susan and went on with my day normally. But Susan wouldn't leave. Every now and then I would see her in the back of the room, or walking behind me down the hallway. Every time I glanced at her, she smiled, as if she was excited to be around me. Another thing I noticed was that she aged with me. Susan didn't remain as the nine-year-old she started out as, she grew up, just like me. I came to the conclusion that I couldn't get rid of Susan, because she wasn't wasn't an imaginary friend anymore. She was a figure that silently followed me, who I had absolutely no control of. I didn't mind because she wasn't getting in the way of anything, at the time.

She managed to stay with me when I began high school. By that time, I made a few of really great friends, who Susan had an immense hatred for. I would hear her mock them, and give negative input to anything they said. She didn't like the fact that I was friends with someone besides her. She didn't hate me for it, though. She didn't even hate me for ignoring her for the past few years, and continued treating me as if I was her best friend which, apparently, I was. Susan started to become more… sinister, and vile. It seemed as though she hated everything besides me. Which had its consequences.

I remember one time I was asking my mom a question while she was on the phone. She was cooking something on the stove and had her back to me, while I was sitting at the kitchen island directly behind her. I called her name about three times before Susan hit her. I remember the amount of shock I felt at that moment. How did Susan hit her? This whole time I believed that I had somehow gone a bit crazy, and couldn't get rid of a childhood apparition, but it seems as though Susan took on her own physical characteristics. My mom turned around a bit angry at me and asked why I had hit her. I couldn't say it was Susan, I was fourteen years old, she’d think that I’m crazy. So, I just told her that I was sorry, but I’d forgotten what I was going to ask. I was still overcome by what had just happened.

I had trouble sleeping that night. I didn't know whether or not Susan was an actual being. She has a mind of her own and could physically interact with everything, but no one sees her. Could they possibly just be ignoring a real person? No, it’s impossible. I made her. She never existed before the fourth grade. Soon after that, things started to get worse. She started to trip and push over people she didn't necessarily like. She even hit a few of my friends for making friendly insults towards me. I started to become somewhat fearful towards her, and a bit uneasy when I hung out with my friends.

This continued up until I was in my Sophomore year for college. I was hanging out with my friend Morgan at her apartment one night. I was there because we were working on a project together, but we waited up until the last minute to complete it, so we had to get it done within the next two days. It was a fun night and Susan was nowhere to be seen, so I wasn't as uneasy as I usually would be. Considering that Morgan was my absolute best friend, whom I trusted the most, I decided to tell her about Susan. It was kinda awkward telling her, because I've never told anyone before. That, and she wore this skeptical look on her face while I spoke.

“What are you? Insane or something?” She chuckled. I started to feel a little restless.

“I’m not insane! She’s real, these things actually happened, you have to believe me.” I preached for myself.

“Look, whatever you’re saying, I don’t want to get into it. There’s no way an imaginary friend can come to life, this isn't an R.L. Stine book. You need to get a grip of yourself.” She said. I couldn't help but feel left down. My own best friend didn't believe me, when I know what I was saying was true. I left soon after that. Susan was still nowhere to be found, so I started to consider that I might actually be crazy.

The next morning I was awoken by three forceful knocks on the door. I wiped my eyes as I went to open the door. When I answered it, I was able to make out two police men through my foggy vision. They told me that I was being taken in for questioning, and led me to the back of the police car. I had no idea what I was being questioned for, and I figured it was just for a stolen item or something of that matter. I was horribly wrong. They told me that Morgan was killed last night. Apparently her roommate found her bloodied corpse upon coming home later that night. According to a few witnesses, I was the only one who was with her before that. I tried telling them about how I left and that I couldn't possibly be the one who killed her, considering that she was my best friend. They pointed out that the only trace of another person was me, so it couldn't have been anyone else. I knew, deep down in my gut, I knew it was Susan.

I found myself in prison for life afterwards. I saw Susan for the first time in a while after that, and I knew I couldn't ignore her anymore.

“What are you?” I asked. She chuckled and a big grin stretched across her face, “I’m you.” She answered. I never spoke to her again after that, but she still remained by my side, even in prison. Everyday I tried convincing the guards that it was Susan, but they’d shrug it off. Soon they started giving me pills to cope with my “Insanity”. I know I’m not insane. Susan exists, and she killed Morgan. It wasn't me, you have to believe me, it was Susan. She’s real. She’s not an imaginary friend. She’s real she’s real she’s real, I know she is, she has be. You believe me right? Don’t you? I've told you everything, so you have to believe me, you have to. I need to get out of here. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know how I’ll escape, I might have to kill a few guards, I can’t though...

But Susan can.

Credit To: TVATR

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