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I'm going to have to put my dog down today. He's only eight years old, but... he's just been getting worse and worse lately. He won't eat the food I leave for him, or drink any water I give him.

I'm going to really miss him. He was the best pet yet! He's a great dog, really. Sure, he whines a lot but that's just a dog thing I guess. I always take him for good long walks around the woods, and oh, he has just the most adorable collar! It's brown - like his eyes - with little hearts on it! Yeah, it chokes him usually... I hate to hear that happen, but I guess it's his fault for pulling on it like he does. I would get him a harness, but I can't find one in his size.

It really wasn't easy when I first got him, of course. He always tried to run away, and he was very loud. I had to get him a muzzle, then. Then he just whined a lot. Now, of course, it's been a year, and he's calmed down quite a bit. He sleeps in the basement most of the time, and I leave him food, but... as I said before, he hasn't been eating any of it lately. So... I guess I just have to either get it over with now or let him starve to death, and of course I can't let him suffer any longer. I'm done with him, anyway.

"Mm-mmph!"

"Hold still! Stop whining, it'll just take a second!"

"MMM-"

"... There... now see the mess you've made? Hmph... hopefully my new dog won't be this messy...."