The Blog

The now deleted Tumblr blog, owned by the girl known as Megan Howard and the URL megantherobotgirl, was a well-known engineer and mechanic. She conducted experiments to see the effects and acts of artificial life. This describes the entries of her last experiment before she deleted the blog.


My name is Megan. I'm currently studying robotics and engineering and am currently in the process of creating my own artificial life.

The research of artificial lifeforms has been quite mind-boggling. It's evolution is quite extraordinary, in my opinion. Preforming actions and speaking is one thing, but thought and desire is another, which is what I believe is what I've developed.

My past experiences with artificial life haven't been so successful. The most I've been able to create was a simple auto-respond-er modification for my Skype, which I've successfully installed into my computer. The program automatically replies to the user who wishes to have my company when I'm offline with a response such as, “Hey, the Professor isn't here are the moment. State your business and the Professor will get to you as soon as she can.” It's pretty smart, I know.

As I was saying, my skills within programming and the such have been improving by the second. Improving to the point of where I created a literal artificial thought. It's almost as if it had the exact same formatting as the speech programs I've created for my latest project. It was rather obscure and slightly difficult for me to discover, but hell, I'm pretty damn proud!

I know exactly what I'm going to be doing with this block of code. Of course, I'll be using it for my latest project, called, 'Project: Porcelain'. This experiment will carry out how the acts of a human-like porcelain doll will react to the effects of human life. The porcelain doll will even carry out conversations and even interact with a human (myself)! I decided to go with a life-sized porcelain doll. It isn't fully impossible to create or buy- plus, it seems much more convenient than using a corpse or a huge stuffed doll. Porcelain dolls instantly came into consideration for me. They're beautiful and fragile. Almost admirable...or even goddess-like. I cannot wait to install the program into her data bank.


I've forgotten to mention the appearance of that porcelain doll that I mentioned in my previous journal. Might as well do it now before I have the doll-robot-thing up and running?

She's possibly the most glorious thing I could ever imagine. Her skin is pure white; so pure, so fragile, so smooth. I almost envy her for such captivating beauty. Her glass hair seems almost hyper-realistic, giving off the appearance of being brushed out oh-so neatly and bunched up into a small bun at the top of her head, a few lazy strands lounging out of it's band. The facial features are almost flawless. The cute little button nose and a plump pair of lips are something I could die for.

What I admire the most about her are her eyes. I do realize that they're fake, but who knew that something as of that could give off a sense of aesthetic pleasure? They were large, the iris a light shade of teal. Almost as if someone had torn out the eyes of someone and placed them into the empty glass sockets.

Her arms and joints are similar to those in a Barbie doll, giving her an endless possibility of positions and gestures. The inside of her hollow being lies chips and wires, which I define as her 'brain'. It will contain the programs necessary to go through the experiment, such as the speech program, the thought program, the desire program, etc.

Her dress is similar to one you'd find on any porcelain doll. It resembles a blue cocktail dress, length reaching to her knees. Her dress is simple, with the exception of her laced Peter Pan collar. It was childish, almost.

Speaking of the doll, I have took it upon myself to give her a name before the project is fully conducted.

Her name will be Maude. Quite fitting for her theme, actually.


I've successfully installed all of the programs into Maude's system. The process of charging her internal batteries is quite the impatient thing to go through. I just can't want to talk to her and interact! Maybe she'll like me?

I just can't wait to tell her how beautiful she is.


It took a whole night for her to fully charge. Her batteries are full, which I believe will last for about two weeks until it needs recharging. Honestly, I'm pretty impressed with my job of coding. From what I've seen, she's able to move her joints quite well, especially with that little metal skeleton inside of her.

However, so far, I haven't been able to hear any words from her. This triggered a bunch of questions to be bombarded within my mind. Why isn't she talking? Is is because she's just shy? Is there a bug in the program? And the question most that was abundant: Will she like me?

That doesn't really matter now. I just want her to settle in to my little home, and perhaps warm up to me and find a sudden fondness.


After four days, I've finally gotten her to talk! Obviously, I was quite excited to see and hear her glorious voice.

It's robotic, but still with a pleasant tone to it. As if she had a sense of expression in her voice. It was almost calming or soothing, and I absolutely loved it. I could compare it to the antagonist in Portal 2, GLaDOS.

With this, I took it upon myself to teach her the name she has received and who I am. Her reaction to this was quite fond, as if she was happy with having a name and knowing who I was.

Her interactions are something to take note of. When I've been telling her to sit down so I can shut her down, she's been refusing. I sigh and brush it off as I allow her to do as she pleases. The thing is that I feel as if she's been watching me in my sleep, like she's...guarding me...or something along the lines of that. I honestly don't find it that creepy at all. Perhaps she's just, well, overprotective of her creator? Who knows.

But what I find somewhat disturbing about Maude is her smile when she looks at me. It seems if she's extremely happy to be alive. A little too happy?


After another recharge, she's up and ready to go. She's cheery and bubbly as always, and still strangely overprotective. It's slightly unnerving, but I still just brush it off.

Her phrases have become much more complex, her vocabulary expanding by the second. Some things she's been saying are almost demoralizing. Even creepy, I must admit. The things she's been telling me seems as if she's obsessed. I'm not even going to question if there's a fault in her coding if it's a reason to why this is occurring- and it probably is. But I don't even care at this point.

And I'm obsessed about her too. She's literally the only thing on my mind! Is this what love is like? She even has told me, “I love you, and I'll do anything for you, no matter the cost”. I love her so much. I'll do anything for her, no matter her being a simple porcelain doll.


I haven't left my house in weeks. Literally, I cannot stop thinking about Maude. As if she took over my mind and there's no escape. I like it this way. It's as if I want to spend all of my time with her, and that's most likely true.

Earlier today, my parents called me to ask if I was alright, because it's obvious that they'd have a bit of suspicions of my actions. I don't know what happened, but I snapped. I yelled at them. Screamed at them for assuming that something was wrong. Nothing is wrong! Absolutely nothing is wrong! I'm perfectly fine, fantastic, even!

Maude still watches me in my sleep. I'm perfectly fine with that as well.

Am I going insane?


It turns out that Maude overheard the conversation between my parents and I. She seemed angry or enraged. Maybe her overprotective-ness overwhelmed her? I don't care anymore. She said, and I quote, “Are you angry with them? Is there anything you want me to do about it?”

Of course, I do want her to do something about it. I want everyone to think that there's something wrong with me to just go away. Perish, I suppose.

With that reply, Maude was surprisingly fine with it! She simply nodded and said, “Okay. Now I know. Thank you.”

The night that followed, Maude didn't come into my room to watch me as she normally did. Strange, it began to rise my suspicions.


Ever since that little discussion between Maude and I, I haven't heard anything else from my parents. Once again, strange. Though, it feels if a wave of happiness and bliss rushed through me. I'm happy I haven't heard from them. I'm happy that Maude is supportive of me. I love her so much. And she loves me back.

My sleeping schedule has been slowly fading into nothing as well. I enjoy to look at her when she watches me at night. I feel safe around her.

[ The rest of the journals Megan has posted seem to be removed, except for her last entry. ]


All of those who think that there's something wrong with Maude and I are idiots. Fools. Imbeciles. And Maude already knows how to take care of them. Because she knows what she's doing. I love her so much. And she loves me in return.