4/12/2012 During the creation of MLP FiM the creator, Lauren Faust, thought about adding two much darker ponies, one was undoubtedly inspired by "Sweeny Todd" and the other was a compilation of insane things. I recently found Lauren's "autobiographies" for these ponies, written in their perspectives, so for your reading pleasure, here they are, uncut:
Marshall: I was born and raised in... that section of northern Canterlot... You know the one, I mean, the one where everypony is a criminal, where "greaser ponies" will kill you for asking them for directions. Well, anyway, being harshly bipolar and having no job, I ventured into central Canterlot where I met the pony whom I have to thank for everything, Pinkie Pie. She was making a delivery of her famous cupcakes when I asked her for a job, I have always loved those cupcakes. She accepted and bounced around for a few hours, then she took me into her carriage and took me to Ponyville.
We arrived at a barber shop on Sweet Street, and she told me my job. I had always been a... violent pony, so when she gave me the job of killing people for her cupcakes, you could only imagine my joy. I only had one problem though, I was still homeless. Pinkie told me to move in with her other employee, Lulu. After some careful persuasion, Lulu said I could live with her if I didn't go into her shed. Of course, after a while I stole an axe from her shed as a refreshing change from my previous weapon at the fake barbershop, a crappy little pocketknife. Now, I have to go, because Lulu, now my official roommate, is calling me. Goodbye! -sincerely, Professor Marshall: The demon ponybarber of Sweet Street.
Lulu: Wooh. Okay, Heey. I just got here from my trip to Canterlot. It was great~! I got to see all my friends again, broke into the Canterlot Archives... OOH OOH and I got to meet Luna! It was utterly Ah-mah-zing!
Yet, we're not talking about this. I'm on my way to my shed to check for inventory. So, you may be wondering how I'm writing this, correct? I have my good friend Rarity writing for me. She owes me! Hahah! Good 'ol unicorn magic. Hmm... now where did I put my key- Rarity? Are you writing this!? WAIT NO- ... So, I just entered my shed. The knives are in order... harpoons... hacksaws... saws... axe-Wait a moment. I'm missing one! Oh man, it's my favorite one! ... Somepony's dying, tonight... Time to look for clues... I swear, if it's my roommate, I'll murder him, extra hard. Pfftk. Twat, I'm gonna stop writing for now. I still have to make sure the dress that Rarity is making for me, for the gala has that knife holder I requested. Until another time.
Soon, I'll be writing about the "lost episode" that they were supposed to be in, until then goodbye for now!
Ok, I saw the episode, and... it was worse than anything I could ever imagine. The episode is called "New Friends." and it starts with Pinkie Pie sweeping her front porch. The two ponies I mentioned earlier come to her and say "enlist us" in perfect unison, "We'd be so much help." The scene cuts to static for two minutes, then comes back in with a "Two Years Later" banner, it then shows Marshall... cutting the cutie mark crusaders into pieces, with incredibly detailed blood and guts. It then cuts to Lulu, stabbing Rarity in the eye, she then says, in a low, demonic voice, "Don't fuck with Lucifer." It then cuts to the castle in Canterlot exploding, but with some clips of 9/11. It then shows Marshall and Lulu... eating... the extremely detailed, rotten and decaying corpses of Luna and Celestia, it shows horrific footage from violent movies, such as the throat cutting from Sweeny Todd, and the witch burning from "Twins of Evil", when it cuts to Marshall and Lulu looking at the screen for about 4 minutes, then they say... something, it was so distorted that I couldn't make it out. The rest of the episode is static.
I had a nightmare last night, the ponies were in it, they said... "Join us... come with us to a world of happiness..."