I am in love with you.
The first day I saw you, I knew you were the one for me. It's that cliche "Love at first sight" thing, you know? Oh but it's true... You're amazing...
I saw you on the public transit on my way home from my community college. I don't have a car, so that's the only way to get around for me. There are a lot of creeps who ride it though but that day I got on it, there were no seats at all. However... You stood up... and said the most romantic six words I've ever heard...
"Would you like to sit down?"
I smiled, my cheeks hot, and I knew I was blushing. I couldn't look away from your hazel eyes that somehow looked like pools of gold... Your beautiful, mid length, jet black hair looking messy and unkempt, as if you were walking through strong winds... A couple of strands fell into your perfectly sculpted face... God must have been proud when he created you...
I sat down, and you held onto the pole during the rest of the ride. I pretended to read a book, but I was gazing at you like I've never gazed upon anyone before...
Much too soon, it was my stop. I stood up, avoiding your eyes because I was so flustered. But... as I walked passed, you said, "See you later." My heart skipped, and I finally looked into those gorgeous eyes. I waved and replied, "Bye..." My voice had cracked. Oh how I felt like an idiot.
That night, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I drew you in my notebooks, I wrote poems about you, I couldn't even concentrate on my homework... I needed to know your name, I needed to be with you...
How could I make you mine, beautiful stranger?
The week went on, and I saw you every day after school. Never in the morning, just afternoon... I managed to find a seat on my own, but I always sat near you. I even got the chance to sit behind you so I could drown myself by staring at your messy, ebony hair... I knew you felt me watching because you looked around periodically. But I had my iPod on, and each time you looked around, I'd pretend to stare off into space, listening to my music.
One day, I saw your wallet poking out of a pocket on your bag you forgot to zip up. Without thinking, I gently grabbed it and looked in the transparent window on the front. I'm pretty sure other passengers saw, but they kept quiet, just glared at me. I saw your name was... oh what a beautiful name... Antonio Vella... sounded Italian. I also saw that you were twenty five, only two years older than me!
Finally, I tapped your shoulder, heart racing... you turned around, and I held up the wallet.
"I think you dropped this," I said, trying to sound casual. You smiled, taking the wallet... your hand brushed mine, and I wanted to squeal, but I held myself back...
"You didn't take anything, did you?" you joked, and I laughed nervously.
"Of course not," I replied. You gave another astounding smile and tucked your wallet back in its pocket, remembering to zip it up that time.
I know a lot about you now, and I have to say, I'm impressed. You're an assistant manager at an outlet store... I was amazed at that accomplishment considering how young you are. You have two cats and a turtle in your small, but cozy apartment. Your bed is big enough for two people to sleep in... and oh how I long to join you in it... soon, my love. Soon.
You don't ride the same bus as me in the morning because you catch the one after mine. I considered being late for school so I could see you in the morning, but... I didn't really know if I should...
I caved. I let my first bus go by, and then sat out at the stop, waiting for the next one. When it came, I boarded. You weren't there yet. But the very next stop, you came on! You looked at me and smiled quizzically.
"You're not normally on this bus," you said, sitting in front of me.
"I missed mine," I said softly. Unfortunately, you just nodded and turned to face the front. But we just had a conversation! Oh my heart soared...
I've missed several days of school now, Antonio. They'll probably kick me out, but I don't care... I want to be with you. I've followed you home every day since that morning I rode the bus with you, but you didn't know. I found the apartment you lived in, and that's how I know so much about you! I never wanted to go back to my depressing home! Not with you right here... so close to me...
I snuck into your house after you left for work. Your cats love me, by the way! I searched around your home, learning more about you, laying where you sleep, feeling your clothes, gazing at pictures you had in your family album... your family is huge! I can't wait to meet them!
I lost track of time. I heard you unlocking your door and panicked, hiding under your bed. I'd have to find another place to hide later. You came into your room and sat on the bed with a sigh, dropping your bag on the floor right in front of me. You took off your shoes, and then your shirt, as I saw it land on the floor. I wanted to grab it, but I couldn't, not yet. I watched you get up and go to your closet. Heh, good thing I didn't hide there! You put on a more comfortable shirt and left the room, closing your door. I assumed it was to keep the cats from entering.
I had to plan. Sooner or later, something would roll under the bed, or one of the cats would sniff me out. I quietly crawled out from under the bed and entered your closet, looking around. There was a vent there. I carefully pulled it free and crawled inside. Luckily it was warm weather, so you didn't need to turn on the heat. This is where I would live... right in your bedroom... right here with you...
I couldn't keep myself secret, for I longed to be with you. Every day when you came home from work, there'd be a heart cut out of pink construction paper on your bed. They said things like, "I love you," "you're beautiful," "I want to be with you," and "we'll be together forever..."
I could tell you were puzzled and a little scared. You didn't do anything about it, though I think maybe you should have. Soon I started adding flowers to the bed with the hearts... then candy... then some of my old stuffed animals... you got nervous. You called the police, but apparently you forgot the vent was here! It's obscured by a box, so when they checked the closet, they couldn't see it. They told you to call if anything else happened, and they took my gifts to you into custody. No matter, Antonio, I'll just give you more.
I started leaving notes around your house about how much I loved you, and how we'd be together forever, and that I've been watching you for a long time... we're made for each other! You don't even know my name yet... dammit, I should have introduced myself on the bus!
One day, I came out of the vent while you were at work. I was able to catch the bus a few stops away from yours so I could ride with you again. I smiled casually at you, sitting in front of you without saying anything. You looked sleepless, my dear. I wish I could cuddle you at night to help put your mind at ease.
I dropped my pen, pretending not to notice. You tapped my shoulder and handed it to me.
"You dropped this," you said with a small smile.
"I guess that makes us even," I said, taking the pen. I wanted to continue the conversation, and I was confident I could because I now knew so much about you. You laughed at my comment.
"I haven't seen you on the bus for a couple of weeks," you said.
"I've been sick," I replied. "I've missed so much school that I had to drop out. Today I was at the store planning to buy some food, but realized I forgot my wallet!"
"Love it when that happens," you chuckled. I had butterflies in my stomach! We were having another conversation!"
"So... what's your name?" I asked, trying to sound just faintly curious.
"Milly," I said. "It's short for Millicent, but I hate being called that." You laughed, and the bags under your eyes seemed a little less noticeable. "Are you on your way home?"
"Yea," you said. "Though... never mind."
"What?" I asked, trying not to sound nosy.
"I just... haven't felt very comfortable in my apartment lately..."
"May I ask why?"
"I'd rather not talk about it."
"If you want, I can keep you company." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. You stared at me, and I could see the gears turning in your head.
"Well... yea. Yea, it might make me feel better to not be alone." On the inside, I was jumping for joy! I finally got to be in your home without having to hide myself!
At last we arrived at your apartment, and we went inside. I purposefully didn't leave anything for you that day, cause I knew you'd get flustered if your "guest" saw the notes. Your cats rubbed against my legs, purring.
"Aw, they like me," I said, but you weren't paying attention. I saw you nervously scanning the room, and then you started wandering around the house. After your search, you sighed and sat on the couch.
I stayed a few hours, watching television with you and talking... you told me many things I already knew, but I humored you. After all, you didn't know how well I knew you, Antonio.
I left around eight thirty, saying goodnight... and then waited until you were asleep to sneak back into the vent.
The next day was your day off from work. Again, I didn't leave you notes. Your phone rang, and you answered it...
"Hello?" you said, and I listened carefully. "Oh thank God you're back! I've got a lot of things to tell you... yea... it's a long story... alright, I'll pick you up from the airport... love you." You hung up.
"Love you?" Antonio, who was on the phone? I cursed myself for jumping to conclusions. Maybe it was his sister or... mom... or someone. Surely Antonio wouldn't cheat on me!
That's when you broke my heart...
You brought her home a few hours later. This skinny blonde chick with an annoyingly high pitched voice... you told her everything, about the gifts, the notes, items being out of place... I had to cover my mouth to stop from crying out in anger as she hugged you and kissed you...
"Don't worry babe," the filthy slut said to you. "I'll stay over as long as you need me to. I'm sure mom won't mind me coming home a little later than I said."
"Thanks Hannah," you said. Hannah. What an ugly name.
That night, you fell asleep together in your bed. That's my spot, you bitch! I fucking hate you! Oh I wanted to slaughter her, to cut her throat, spill her blood...
So I did.
I came out from the vent and went into the kitchen. I grabbed the biggest knife I could find and came back into your room. I glared at your bitch's stupid face before I screamed and stabbed her repeatedly in the stomach! You woke up and shouted when you saw me, jumping off the bed and crying out at my actions. The cunt shrieked and cried, spluttering and gurgling as blood filled her mouth. I stabbed and stabbed until she stopped moving... finally, she was dead.
I giggled, looking at you as you turned on the bedroom light. I could tell you were afraid of what you'd see... and I was right. You cried out in horror at the blood covered sheets where your dead whore lie. Tears ran down your face as you looked at me... and comprehension dawned upon you...
"Milly?!" you exclaimed. I smiled, dropping the knife.
"Hello my love!" I cooed. "I'm happy that I can finally stop hiding... I love you Antonio! You're all mine now!" You backed against the wall, sobbing as I approached. "Didn't you read my notes? I told you we'd be together forever! But I didn't know you were cheating on me! I forgive you though. Now that she's out of the picture, we're together! Nothing can come between us!"
"You're a lunatic!!" you bellowed, trying to reach the door.
"Don't you love me, Antonio?" I asked, pouting my lip. "Don't you love me? Didn't you like all the gifts I left for you? Don't you see what lengths I've gone for you? I dropped out of school for you! I left my home! Love me, Antonio! LOVE ME!!"
Your hand found the door knob, and you swiftly ran out of the room, trying to get to the phone. But don't worry, I unplugged it! I ran to you, trying to hold you in my arms, but you shoved me away, screaming at me. Why would you scream? I love you!
Someone must have heard the noise... police came barging into our home, holding up their guns. How rude of them!
"HELP ME!!!" you screamed, and one of the officers grabbed me. I struggled, kicking and scratching every part of him I could reach, but the other officer slammed handcuffs onto my wrists and helped restrain me. They brought me outside and threw me into the back of the car...
The doctors were nice to give me this pen and paper to finish writing this with. I was in that room covered in pillows, but they moved me to a normal room because of good behavior. I wanted to tell you my story, my love, because I didn't get a chance to tell you in person. You must have been confused or something, because you wouldn't let me kiss you. It hurt, but I forgive you.
You haven't visited me. That breaks my heart, Antonio... I now write these final thoughts before I leave.
We could have been happy together Antonio. We could have had everything. Didn't you love me? I love you. I know we'll be together someday. I'll make you realize that you love me. I love you so much, Antonio. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I'm going to take my pen and stab myself in the throat. When the doctors find me, it'll be too late. I'll see you soon, Antonio. Very soon. Until then...