It started as a simple enough day; wake up, throw some clothes on, figure out if I’m going to socialize and if not skip shower (In this case I did shower), brush teeth, use the toilet, the works. I was just getting done checking my iPod for updates on various online games involving when I felt a hauntingly familiar yet all the more quiet tune. I look around and see my monitor black, but I was positive it was my computer. I move the mouse to get the screen up and see I left iTunes up with Pokémon Blue’s Lavender Town theme playing. Noticing my headphones are plugged in, I remember I was testing to see how long I can take it, and only after an hour I had to stop and went to bed almost immediately after.
I unpluged the mic and heard the tune, and I had it basically memorized down to the faint high-pitched tones in the background. I paused iTunes, and still heard the music, but I shrugged it off as lag as it had been up for a while. Having few dirty dishes to free the counter so I may eat was certainly a blessing, but after I was done and the clanging plates had ceased their resonations I realized the music was still playing. I found this quite peculiar and went back upstairs. Assuming iTunes never cancelled out properly I simply turned my speakers all the way down. After doing this, the tune still played, and I began to feel very disturbed. This wasn’t the mental kind of music where you can tell it isn’t real, it’s too quiet and only in your head, your ears don’t feel it. This… I felt it, and I heard it as I had when it was playing normally. But, being the logical guy I am, figured it was simply a very odd stereo malfunction and shut my computer down. I made sure it turned off, and yet I still heard the incessant tone. It appeared I wasn’t going to be rid of it so easily.
After leaving my house and walking to the local business where I worked, I still heard the song. I shrugged it off as best as I could and figured it would die down as I went about my day. I came home with the sun setting and I was anywhere but near a quiet evening.
Very little time goes by before I start really panicking. I’d say about an hour, and I was calling my friend for advice, in which he laughs at me and hangs up; great friend. I call an ex of mine, as we’re still very close. She says to see a doctor and to get some rest. Well as for the doctor thing, that wasn’t going to happen, as I wasn’t crazy, just going insane. Perhaps some rest would do me good however. I thanked her and let my phone sit on its charger, then walked into my shrouded room. I flicked the switch in hopes that the illumination shall destroy the accursed black filling my bed and hiding it from my sight. Oddly enough, I blew a fuse. Luck wasn’t with me either.
Each time the Sun rose, I rose with it from my barely used bed. This occurred for four days and the tune was showing zero signs of ceasing, it kept its volume, it kept each and every note, it wasn’t going to quit until I did. I was unable to sleep, but I tried as hard as I can. I tried playing soothing music via my iPod, I tried counting sheep, but all I ended up doing was staring at the walls or the ceiling, contemplating just ending it. If you’re wondering, yes, I do mean self-inflicted death, or suicide. Not only was the tune with me each and every hour of the day, but it was making me lose more and more of my hold on reality. The splitting headache that I had at this point made it impossible to think clearly, and I saw things that one may only dream of. I still retained a little bit of humanity – I guess I’ll call it – as I avoided the mirror, in a vain attempt of slightly bettering the situation. (You don’t want to know what I saw the first time I looked into one)
The second week rolled by, sleepless and disheveled, I realized I couldn’t get the song out of my ears. The headache had reached astronomical levels, and it was as though someone taking an unending fire and scorching each and every sensory gland on your body was a minor inconvenience. I had to do it, just a slash of the throat, or on the wrists, or the noose’s unfaltering grip, or anything just FREE ME of this song.
Once I lay still, the water around me, probably with more blood in it than I started, I felt at ease. It was serene… I saw the tiles of my bathtub that surrounded me on three sides, and then it slowly started to blur over, and colors melded together until breathing itself was something I could no longer do. And even as I drift away, I hear nothing, and I’m glad. But… as my dying wish, I’d like you to listen to a song for me…