It’s been a month since it last found me…

It found me hiding in the corner of my closet.

I think it’s finally gone but I always assume that…

And I’m always wrong.

It’s constantly searching, waiting, for me to reach my lowest.

And I want it to find me.

I walk home from school feeling depressed and pathetic.

I found out that I had failed four of my classes.

I might have to be held back a year.

All my friends have left me because I don’t do what they do.

But they don’t know about… it…

I get home and my parents are still fighting.

I don’t know what it’s about; I stopped caring long ago.

As I dump my schoolbag on the floor of my room,

My arm starts to itch…

My arm itching is a warning sign that it’s near…

It’s come back to finish what it started.

I try to focus on positive things but I know,

that in the back of my mind it will do no good.

It has razored metal claws and a thin, cold body.

It grabs my arm with one claw and pulls me close to it.

I try to look away but its eyes are so seductive.

I know…

Deep down…

Under all that shame…

Beneath the lie…

The lie that I don’t want it.

The truth is; I need it.

I want to feel that cold needle pierce my skin.

And the drug coursing through my veins again.

I might try and hide from it again.

But I know that the needle will find me once more…

Written by The Toxin
Content is available under CC BY-SA