I'm really a nice person, But I had to kill them. It started with my ex-wife's brother. He knew me and needed a place to stay and I have a good sized home so I agreed to let him stay... temporarily.
He said he would pay me, but I couldn't accept his money, told him he should save it to get a new place. Then he begged and pleaded for me to let his friend stay.
He said he and his friend would pay, and said his friend would sleep on the floor in his room. I agreed but didn't take the money. Then my cousin's ex husband must have heard I was giving out free housing and requested to stay in my house until he "pulled himself together," along with his new wife.
Four people. Four loud, gross people all eating my food, using my shower, watching MY TV. It didn't feel like home anymore; it felt like a homeless shelter. They were lazy, and disgusting. I wanted to kick them out the first month they moved in but, I just couldn't. It didn't feel right. I had to get rid of them just... in a nicer manner. My guilt would eat me alive if I just kicked them out, they would think I was a mean person, and I can't live with that. In the back of my mind I had to get rid of them, without making them think I was a bad person. Perhaps they shouldn't even have to think of me at all. I won't feel bad about it.
I bought them all tickets to the moviesand they all happily accepted them... except one. My ex-wife's brothers friend. Now was my chance. He was watching TV silently, so I went and found my toolbox grabbed my hammer and a towel, then slowly crept up to him. Unfortunately he noticed and turned his head in my direction and I grabbed the left side of his head with the towel in hand, then struck him with the hammer. Right on the temple. I didn't know if he unconscious or dead, I actually didn't have time to care; I had to get him out of here. I burned the towel, then wrapped his body up in trash bags. Then I put his body in my car along with a couple heavy weights and a rope. I drove to the nearest river, tied his body to the weights and dropped him in. Done... that's one less non-angry mouth to feed. Hurray!
The next day they asked me where he went. I told them "I don't know, he must've walked out while we slept and fell asleep somewhere." I contacted the police and they started a search, but came up with nothing.
My next chance was with my cousin's ex-husbands' wife. She took medication everyday; who knows why. So one day while she was sleeping, I put latex gloves on and grabbed a handful of the pills. I crept up to her making sure not to wake up her husband.
Then I forcefully opened her mouth and shoved the pills down her throat. When she woke up suddenly, I dropped and rolled under the bed quickly. Her husband woke up from the commotion and told her "it was just a nightmare," they both laid back down. I decided to wait for another hour before exiting their room, slipping into my own bed, and finally falling asleep.
I woke up to hysterical screaming. Knowing why he was screaming, I rushed into the room where he was standing over her dead body, weeping. I quickly called the ambulance trying not to giggle at the fact that I knew why she was dead and no one else did. When they arrived, they took her body. They said it was an overdose.
The next opportunity came a week later. My cousin's ex-husband was still mourning over his lost. He was downstairs, so I walked up the stairs to his room and tied a noose in his room from the ceiling fan. I then invited him to the bar, hoping someone wouldn't find the noose later.
When we got there, I bought as many drinks as I could afford. He was so drunk, he could barely stand, so I brought him home and dragged him into the house. His wife was already asleep, so I dragged him upstairs. He was too drunk to perceive his surroundings, so I stood him up on a kitchen stool, tied the noose around his neck, and lightly pushed the stool over. His life ended with a satisfying *crack*.
The next morning, I walked into his room and screamed. I knew what happened, but I didn't need them to know that. I called an ambulance and they took the body and left. The police were getting suspicious of all the deaths, I know it. My ex-wife's brother walked into the living room where I was lounging and gave me a weird look and stated "I'm leaving."
I was shocked and relieved at the same time, though there was a sense of disappointment in me somewhere. He left, but the next day, police were banging on my door and told me I would be in custody until their investigation was finished. That rat called the police. They found me guilty, even though I insisted I "wasn't a bad person."
I was put in prison for murder. I had a cell mate. What a nuisance he was. I'm really a nice person,
I just don't like people.
Written by Lawvah