The True Story
"I am a heron. I have a long neck and I pick fish out of the water with my beak. If you don't repost this comment on 10 other pages, I will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans". - Heron
Heron is most commonly referred to as...
"The destroyer of worlds."
"The unmaker of worlds."
"The disruptor of pots and pans."
"That big bird with long legs at the lake that stands on a rock and stares at you."
Heron is the most powerful creature in creation; he is said to have abilities beyond comprehension. There is no way to stop Heron, as he is immortal. Every entity ever created in the world that has challenged Heron has been exterminated.
Heron Factual information.
Feel free to add any information you have of the beast...
"Heron caused all the deaths in the Steinman Woods scenario."
"Heron was approached by Slenderman, Slenderman is no more."
"Heron corrupted Zalgo."
"When Zalgos 7th month sings the song that brings the end of the world, it's actually singing in accordence to Herons hunger for some thing other then fish."
"Heron was phone."
"Heron is Herobrine"
"Heron drowned Ben."
"Slenderman fears Heron."
"This is the great pyramid of Heron."
"Squidward's suicide was caused by Heron."
"Heron looked at smile.jpg. It is now frown.jpg."
"Heron caused suicidemouse.avi to hang himself."
"Heron has no reflection; there is only one true Heron."
"There is no survival, only a beak as it pecks your eyes out."
"They say the end of the world will begin when Heron raises his left leg."
"Heron executed barelybreathing.exe. The results were the file being corrupted."
"Heron found 'The Grifter'. He thinks there wasn't enough disturbing material in the film".
"Heron is the leading cause of death among American females between the ages of 18 and 23."
"Make any attempt at changing and/or correcting Heron's true story and they will never find you."
"Heron often does rituals associated with demonic forces, and he answers questions wrong for fun."
"Heron is allowed to say Candle-jack as much as he wishes, for it is Candle-jack who is afraid of Heron."
"Anyone who is to edit this article distastefully will experience the full incomprehensible power of Heron."
"Zalgo took Heron out on a date once and refused to pay so Heron ate Zalgo's testes. HE no longer COMES."
"He's so evil that he will take your mother to a sea food dinner, have fun, take her home, kiss her on the cheek and never call her back. He has no fucking heart."
"He will mess up your pots and pans...."
"He let Chuck Norris live..."
"He's climbin' in yo windows, he's snatchin' yo people up..."
"Heron corrupted Lavender Town."
"Heron watched the lost episodes, they became lost when trying to hide from him."
"Heron popped out of the skeleton".
"Weegee starts to cry when he stares at Heron."
"Heron knows exactly where Waldo is."
"Heron disbanded the Soviet Union."
"Heron has an appetite for those who find themselves getting down on Friday."
"Heron is why THEY must not be brought together."
"Heron is why Zalgo waits behind the wall."
"When Jeff the killer stabbed Heron Jeffs knife broke"
"Heron uses The Rake as a gardening tool."
"Heron watches Candle Cove and Cry Baby Lane to help himself fall asleep."
"Heron is hyper-hyper-realistic."
"Heron beat Pokemon Lost Silver."
"Heron made LMFAO only shuffle on Wednesday."
"Heron went to heaven and then scared everyone there into hell."
"Heron played the cell phone game and won."
"Heron had six rounds with Chuck Norris. He won."
"Heron and Slenderman have tea on Wednedsay afternoons."
"Heron got past the Pac-Man kill screen."
"Heron can boil milk without curdling it."
"Heron can eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at McDonalds every day for a month and not suffer ill health effects."
"Heron almost killed Evil Patrixxx, but the fat pink enchinoderm fled by hitching a ride on a passing Nyan Cat. Blast him!"
"Heron occasionally manifests itself as a beautiful young woman to lure fishermen to thier doom. If you see a woman on the beach wearing nothing but a cloak of heron feathers, beware!"
"Heron ate raw chum and LIKED IT!"
"Heron beat DoDonPachi Daioujou on only one life. SIX TIMES IN A ROW!!!"
"Heron knows why kids love the great taste of Cinnamoan Toast Crunch."
"Heron likes My Little Pony. You got a problem with that, punk?!"
"Heron outran the Marathon Man in Ocarina Of Time."
"Heron dislikes bagpipes. He will seek out and kill anyone playing bagpipes in his vicinity."
"Heron enjoys long walks on the beach, sunsets, and strangling people."
"Heron took the cookies from the cookie jar."
"Heron's favorite bedtime story is Cow Head."
"Heron put up a full Spongebob Squarepants episode on YouTube and Viacom didn't DMCA him. Thier lawyers know too well the power of Heron."
"Heron turned Chutulu into sushi."
"The bird flu caught Heron."
"Heron stepped on a Lego barefoot and didn't feel a thing."
"Heron stepped on The Broken Glass Beast and the Beast broke."
"The Balloonatic zapped Heron and he turned into balloons."
"Heron ate a bowl of nails for breakfast...WITHOUT ANY MILK!"
"All of the facts that contradict each other on this list are true."
"Heron played Diablo III and it never crashed once." -ADMIN NOTE: Okay, now that's just ridiculous.
OK, but seriously...
Heron is an in-joke that originated in a Horrible Troll Pasta from the old Monolith forums commonly called HELLO I HAVE NO EYES, after its opening line.