This can’t go on, it really can’t. I can’t get one moment of shuteye without jolting up from my bed a minute after and flipping every single light switch in my apartment on. I have work tomorrow and I absolutely need at least a few hours of sleep, but it looks like it’s not happening tonight either.
This has been a reoccurring event for me for the past week, ever since I went to my aunt’s funeral. I know some people don’t handle the concept of death well but, damn, this is ridiculous. I wasn’t even close with her, attending only because I was pressured by my mom. It was on a Saturday too, there went my weekend.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel really bad for the old hag, she was fighting with some really tough health issues, but I didn’t think seeing her lifeless body could affect me on such a level. Maybe because it was my first time seeing an actual dead person that it left me so mentally scarred.
To be more specific, it wasn’t the body itself, it was the fact that they didn’t close her eyes for some reason. Is that common? It’s like no one else had noticed. I asked my cousin afterwards about it, but he just responded with a shrug. Throughout the whole ceremony, I stared down at her once energetic green eyes. That blank look, those stern features… It was like she was scolding me even in death.
Even though it gave me chills at the time, I quickly pushed it to the back of my mind and continued on with my life, as usual. However, the image of her undead glare always stuck with me. Every time I would nod off at work or home, I would get a flashback to her just staring up at the sky with those cold eyes. Needless to say, it didn’t help with my sleep schedule.
It’s getting worse too, even when I am awake I feel as if she’s staring at me from some corner of the room and judging my every action. Maybe I will skip work tomorrow to visit a specialist about my paranoia. I never trusted doctors of any kind, but I am getting desperate.
I am telling you guys, it’s not good. I see my reflection on the screen as I type this and the lack of sleep has not been kind to me. Seriously, I look like... wait a minute. I don’t have green eyes.