I have always been a fear fan. I like to listen to creepy stories, play games like Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Silent Hill, and Slender. I listen to music late at night specifically designed to send chills up your spine. I read Creepypastas all the time.
That's how I found out about this condition...Is it a condition? I don't know...
I don't know what it is, but as a fear fan, I know this would make a good Creepypasta, and maybe I can warn you, so this doesn't happen to you as well.
You see, if you stay up late often enough, reading these stories, listening to these things, and filling your brain with so much fear, things will start to happen.
First of all, what you'd expect would happen. You'd start out afraid, not wanting to fall asleep, for fear of grisly nightmares. Then you'd continue on the next night, and the night after, until you snap one night, maybe you were looking at your first snuff film. Maybe you just read something too disturbing, and so your mind overloads, and your body does the only thing it can.
You have a panic attack, and you're left sobbing, alone, terrified. But to someone like you or I, you might go back the next day, and continue on like nothing happened. You love the rush. But it starts happening again. Things don't scare you any more. No longer does the thought of "Ash's Coma" or "Cupcakes" scare you.
And you go out searching for more. You've played through all the games, read all the stories. Eventually, nothing scares you, so you go outside, into the woods, alone. Even that becomes boring. And so you go back to your room and you just stare into the darkness, Lavender town theme, or one of the many other songs you've found, playing in the background.
You start to think, imagine the worst things, vile and gruesome, all to feel that fear, but to no avail, and so you stare, and you stare into the darkness, until suddenly you realize it's started to get lighter. It's now daytime. But something is off... You turn your head, and you see the rising sun. Where are you? You sit up and look around, and you see a curious sight. Your mother is nearby, and her hands are moving, she looks like she's pantomiming something. What's going on?
Now, you're probably wondering why I know this all. It's because it happened to me, all of this that I'm going to tell you, and maybe after you read this, you'll get your scare and move on, but you'll be weary about reading these stories... Maybe you won't have to see what I see.
But if you don't listen, and you do continue down that path, here's what's in store for you:
After you wake up, you will see that there are many other people doing things, pantomiming daily tasks. One man looks like he is walking a dog. Another is in a sitting position. A woman is rocking her arms like she's got a baby. But there are no houses, no walls, no barriers between us. The streets are gone, everything is. It's just humans, acting out things, almost as if they have no idea what's going on. And then you start to realize; They DON'T know what's going on.
You see, all these fancy things we've created for ourselves over the years are nothing more than our minds way of coping with our fears. Everything we have come to know is all an illusion created by our minds. The only reason we don't seem crazy is because everyone's illusion is the same, and that illusion is so powerful, that we don't even realize it's an illusion. We can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste this illusion, but only because of our brain's natural defense.
I've been able to figure out how to get a message out to those who are still in the illusion, by watching people, I can figure out where "things" are, and I'm sitting here awkwardly, pretending to type, and I just hope that the brain's illusions are strong enough that this will be found by someone and put on the internet to read.
I know this doesn't make any sense, but none of this is real. We never invented roads, or cars, or anything. Your brain is so afraid of reality, that it's created this alternate reality that YOU call reality. And before you say "That can't be true! We need to eat! If this was an illusion, we'd all starve!", know that food is just an illusion as well. We needed something that would help prove our existence, so the brain thought up food.
And because we're all the same, and don't try to tell me we're not. You just don't understand, we really are, we have the same brain, it's built exactly the same in everyone. We all have the same fear, and that fear blocks out reality, the reality that we are all the same, and there truly is no point to our existence.
I really hope, for your sake, that either you have stopped reading long ago, or that you have finished this to the end, and you are wiser for it.
Living like this is agony. I want to go back to the illusion, but once you have destroyed the illusion, there is no way of getting it back, because there is no more fear in my brain. I'm not afraid anymore, but it's so lonely here, and I'm so confused. It hurts my mind to think about it. We have no reason for existence? I just can't comprehend it.
Please, don't get to the point I got. Keep that illusion. The walls may not be real, but they are there to keep you sane.
That illusion is there to keep you alive.