We all have different fears as children. Sometimes you grow out of them, other times they follow you to adulthood. No one goes through life without any fear because it shapes who we are and what we become. I am afraid of silly things, such as the dark, mirrors, and what follows close behind me in the dark. We all have experienced the feeling of being watched, but do we always dare turn around? When we do turn around, what do we see? What do we fear of seeing?
I recall this one night I spent home in my apartment. It was a pretty calm November evening, not too much going on in the neighborhood. My upstairs neighbors had quieted down so it was just the silence and I. I was up late working on a gift for a close friend of mine. I was making her a Legend of Zelda bleach t-shirt. I thought the idea was pretty creative so I decided to try it out as a gift idea since Christmas was right around the corner. The time was about 11 o'clock in the evening and I had about half of my friends gift done. I had grown very thirsty and the need to empty my bladder was overwhelming. I've always felt uneasy being alone since I was usually never alone, so leaving my room at night was a nerve wrecking thing for me. Opening the door filled me with terror because there is a small chance that I could come face to face with the thing that follows me in the darkness.
One swift turn of the handle and the door unlatches. I take a deep breath and pull the door open waiting to finally see what it looks like. Nothing. Relief rushes over me to know that I don't have to see it. I calmly walk to the light switch diagonally across the hall. My eyes trail to the left, through the darkness of the hall to the living room. My adrenaline rises then quickly falls. I mistake the vacuum handle as an arm. I do it every night but it still scares me the same way each time. I flip the light switch and the hall becomes illuminated. I turn right and head to the bathroom.
I get to the door, close my eyes, and feel the wall for the light switch. The thought of being touched makes me panic so I quickly find the switch and flip it upwards. My eyes open up to see my reflection in the mirror. More relief. I do my business and flush; I wash my hands vigorously and turn off the water. I think about those movies where the actor looks up and there's something standing behind them. I look up and its just me and the light coming from the hallway, I dry my hands and turn to walk out the door. I stop with my hand on the light switch and look behind at the mirror. My reflection is mimicking me just as it should, I shut off the lights and head to the kitchen.
I reach the kitchen in about 10 steps. I open the fridge and browse through some of the things I have in there to munch on. I grab a water and stand up I turn my head toward the door and a I see something move through my peripheral vision. I brushed it off the best I could and turned the kitchen and hall lights off. I keep my eyes focused on the light coming from my room, the hair on the back of my neck rises as I step foot into my room. Safety and security surround me. I start to close the door, about half way a porcelain mask like face starts to slowly creep around the door frame, it slowly turns toward me and the empty eyes start straight at me. I shut the door completely and pretend I didn't see it. Like I have in the past before that night and like I do every night that passes.