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Fallen Rage

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I can't control it! I'm losing myself to it! I can feel it inside me trying to claw its way to the surface! I can't let them see me like this! If I let them get near me I don't know what I'll do! They saw what I did to that car, what are they thinking trying to restrain me now? They must be crazy.

Hell, I must be crazy; only crazy people would let themselves live after what I've done. I don't know what keeps me going. I've tried to kill myself, I've tried everything I could get my hands on; a plastic bag over my head, slitting my wrists, drowning, car exhaust, bullet through my skull, overdosing, nothing works! I keep healing, every wound on my body just disappears as soon as I get them! I am immortal!

This strength, this power, I don't know where it come from or why I have it. I never asked for it! I don't know how much longer I have! I keep hearing voices all around me telling me to embrace it. To accept my damnation and let myself fall. I'm scared, more so than I've ever been.

It's almost midnight now, it always happens at midnight. He always comes at midnight. I don't know who he is but I can see him in the mirror; my doppelganger from Hell, literally. I can remember some of the things he does like some kind of twisted dream; throwing cars through the air like they were nothing, slaughtering whole families single-handedly, raping women, eviscerating SWAT teams. He's unstoppable.

Every time some cop gets a hold of him and cuffs him he just snaps the cuffs as if the chains were made of butter. And worst of all I remember the joy, the sadistic satisfaction in which he reveled in every time he took over my body. I also remember in vivid detail his speeches. How he talks to people and I even heard him say what his name was: Lucifer.

He's managed to avoid identification by the authorities. Every time he gets caught on camera his face, my face, is always obscured by static. I can't control him forever. My parents don't know anything about this. I've thought about talking to psychiatrists but I know that if I tell them what I've done they'll just throw me in a padded cell or give me the lethal injection on death row on charge for murder - not that any of that would work, anyway.

I talked to a psychic last week, though. I got an answer that made just a little more sense. I told her about what was going on and I told her about this Lucifer thing inside me.

"Ah, I see. Yours is a terrible fate, my child. Lucifer, the spirit that inhabits your body, was one of your God's archangels. He was among the first of his kind, one of the first of the heavenly chorus. He was beautiful beyond words, righteous and perfect from the day he was created. Every precious stone was his covering. Every man cringed with envy and every woman shivered with desire in his presence. He was beloved by all of creation.

However, what he had in power and glory, he lacked in humility. His praise soon stirred in him the seeds of vanity and pride. He began to covet the power of God. He went before the Most High and challenged him for control of the Earth. God's wrath was heard throughout creation. He cast Lucifer far from Heaven and into the depths of the Earth were only darkness lurked.

God condemned Lucifer to live as a mortal, a fate worse than death for one such as Lucifer. Throughout the ages, Lucifer has taken one vessel after another, one lifetime after another, never able to see Heaven again. Those possessed by him do not know he is there. They live out their daily lives until, upon reaching adulthood, he begins to manifest through them once every midnight. Indeed, God has no love for you, child."

I didn't know what to do then. I had just found out I was possessed by Satan and now I was going to spend the rest of my life as the vessel of all evil in the world. I've been running ever since. I left my home in the middle of the night and never looked back. The police have been searching for me but no one can find me, not with the the things I can do now. I've learned how to tap into Lucifer's abilities. I can move things without touching them, I'm stronger and faster than any animal I've encountered, I don't get sick, I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't breathe, I've never been more powerful.

And you want to know what gets to me the most? When he takes me over, when I completely lose control...I like it.

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