I'm about to do the smartest thing I've done in months...
Maybe... Maybe, rather than tell you where I am right now, it would be better for me to start from the beginning...
So it started out as a creature that I saw in my dreams. She was beautiful. At least, I thought she was... She started off as a woman that always begged me to come closer, but I couldn't quite reach her. She was so beautiful, I thought nothing of it when she asked to be invited into my mind.
Then, I could have her in my dreams. We could do everything I'd ever dreamed of doing with a woman! Oh, I was so happy for a while. Until she began talking to me in my mind.
I was so terrified the first time it happened, I had thought that it was just something I'd said in a dream. But she managed to talk to me. She and I talked for the longest time, until eventually she said she'd like to see me. Face to face.
I was reluctant. I didn't know what that meant, and she said she'd show me... I shrugged it off when I lost contact for several months. And then I saw her, she was standing outside my window, her face pressed tight against the glass.
She wasn't as beautiful as in my dreams, rather she was mutilated and destroyed, as though someone had recently sent her through a fire. She knocked gently on the window, which terrified me. I saw her outside every window in my one story house, in the windows of my office, my car... And, of course, not another person could see her.
Finally, I couldn't stand her knocking at the window anymore, so I threw it open and tried to chase her away.
That was the worst mistake I could have made.
She was sitting in the corner of my bedroom after this, horrified that I don't want her. She'd begged me to do all the things to her we'd done in my dreams, and now knew that it was her beauty that had convinced me. And she then promised me that I'd get mine.
I haven't seen her, but I know she's with me everywhere. Things move out of the corner of my eye. Deadly things. My knives arrange themselves in odd places, and then a cup of water spills as I walk past.
And I know if she kills me, I'll suffer the same fate as she did. She'll take her time in making sure I look worse than she did. She tells me these things as I'm drifting to sleep.
I have a gun in my hand now, and I'm going to do the smartest thing I've done in months. I'm going to escape her torture... By doing it to myself. The apartment is filled with gases, and pulling the trigger will make me uglier than sin, and make her job complete...