Sent: May 4th 2012 at 3:23 AM
I've got a lot to tell you, and no time to tell it, so before you read this email, just take your kids and Rachel, go and get Mom, and head for the mountains up north. Just trust me on this one, brother.
I don’t have a lot of time to explain what’s going on here, but you REALLY need to know before it’s too late. Back in December, when we visited Mom for Christmas dinner, I told you that I’d been drafted to a different division in the C.I.A, and that I’d have to move to a city far away for a while. I couldn’t tell you at the time, but now you really need to know!
When I was drafted, I became a Special Transport Operative working in Florida. It was my job to move machinery, biological materials and scientific samples from the C.I.A’s testing facility in Florida, to their base of operations in Washington. I’m not allowed to know exactly what we transport for security reasons, but I know that whatever we were transporting just now was extremely important.
We usually have 3 men traveling with each lorry, two drivers (one to drive, one to take over if there are any problems) and one armed guard to prevent any roadside attacks. The lorry I just came from had 8 guys. 6 of us were armed. I wasn’t one of them.
We’ve just been on our way out of Florida with a lorry full of god knows what, when we were hit by this massive oil tanker. We were knocked off of the road and ended up crashing our lorry in this massive ditch. I’m fine by the way. Few cuts, bit achy round the neck, but I can still walk and stuff.
Anyways, after we ended up in this ditch, the lorry was surrounded. I heard gunfire all over. I didn't know what to do! I just ducked for cover and hoped for the best.
The guy next to me who was driving at the time restarted the engine in a panic, trying to get away, and the next thing I knew, he’d been shot by someone I couldn't see in front of us. Straight through the chest! I reached up and hit the panic alarm in our driver's cabin, which should have let the testing facility know to send us some back up.
Next thing I know, the door to the driver’s cabin had been torn open, and a guy with some kind of rifle was yelling at me in a language I don’t understand. He was pointing the gun at me, and pretty much pulled me out of the lorry. I was led round the back, and I saw that 3 of our guys had been shot dead.
The other three were being held in the back. Their weapons had been taken away! Everyone was yelling, but these guys weren’t letting up. I was thrown in the back of the lorry with the other guys still living, and about 4 of these armed foreign guys began grabbing the crates of whatever we were carrying, and I assume they loaded them into the tanker that knocked us off the road.
One of these hijackers smashed open one of the crates and took out a small box of whatever was inside. He inspected it and yelled something to the guys that were waiting outside. They responded in their language, and the guy ripped the box open and pulled out what looked to me like a bag of cocaine or washing powder. He force fed it to one of the guys sat next to me and just stared at us for good 5 or so minutes while the guys continued removing the boxes. After a while he yelled to the other guys outside and jumped out of the lorry.
Then, those bastards closed the lorry doors and locked it!
We’re still trapped inside as I’m writing this, but I expect some guys from the C.I.A will be by soon since I sounded the alarm. The guy that was fed the powder has gone absolutely insane though! He took a chunk out of one of the other guy’s throats, and he’s bleeding out of his eyes and keeps complaining that he’s ravenous… God knows what will happen if they mistake this stuff for drugs and flog it on the black market…
I don’t know what those guys want with this shit, but it can’t be good news. They might be terrorists, or just drug dealers, but this stuff messed this guy’s head up so bad… every so often he keeps lunging at the guy he took a chunk out of, and we have to keep pinning him down!
There are a couple of crates they left behind, the stuff is called polyethylene-something… shit, I can’t see what the label says in this light. I don’t know what the C.I.A wanted this stuff for.
Maybe they were planning on distributing it to the inner city? I don’t know! All I know is, Florida isn’t safe, so for god sake, just go North and get as far away from home as possible! IT MAKES THEM EAT PEOPLE.
This email was successfully intercepted and removed from email delivery grids by the Central Intelligence Agency. The recovery team arriving on scene to free the personnel from the high jacked vehicle were attacked by said personnel, who were found to be partially devoured and extremely hostile- as expected.
Although we will not be able to proceed with inserting methylenedioxypyrovalerone into the Washington water supply, we predict the widespread distribution of the substance as an illegal drug will have almost the same outcome- if not on a lower timescale.
Project “Salts” will continue.
I actually wrote this pasta a long time ago. It was my second one, but unfortunately, I've only just got around to uploading it. Not too sure this style of writing is ever going to be my fort'e.