Since I could remember, dolls scared the living sh** out of me. They're just so...weird. They're just paralyzed humans, usually with a blank expression and beady little eyes that stare into no where. God forbid I ever have a doll in my room.
Once, my parents bought me a life sized one, and I had it in my room for a maximum of three days before I just said "get that thing the hell out of here!" I kept imagining it would come alive and devour me or something. So of course, why in the hell would I ever end up with a doll again? Let me explain....
So it was Christmas Eve during some year (i don't remember which) and I finally got to open one present before Christmas Day. I chose the one that I've been wondering about for weeks. It was an odd shape, not exactly a box but more of a trapezoid about 24 inches across. I could not imagine what could come in a box this shape. Anxiously, I selected the present and began to unwrap.
On another side note, this was a present that came from one of my mom's good friends. I did not know her well, as a matter of fact I was surprised to see she had gotten me something. So obviously she had no idea about my fear of dolls. And what do you know, she had gotten me a nice china doll. Looking upon this doll did not give me the same feeling that I had gotten before.
I didn't feel that queasy feeling deep in the pit of my stomach as I imagined the doll pulling out a giant knife and slowly hacking off my limbs. This doll was not scary at all! It wore a slight, playful smile umong it's face. It's braided, black hair flowed all the way down to her ankles. The eyes were not like the others that creepily gazed into space. Her eyes actually made contact with me, and they spoke as if to say "you don't have to be afraid of me, I just want you to love me." I guess the eyes speaking to me should have scared me a little, but they did not. it's almost like they were luring me in with those big blue glass beads. I loved it.
My parents saw the doll and looked at each other with unease. They guessed that I probably wouldn't want it, but I told them that it was okay. I liked this doll. Those both seemed surprised, and I don't blame them. That night I slept with the doll right next to my bed. I did not feel like some evil being was watching me eagerly as I slept, instead I felt as if some guardian angel was floating above my head to protect me.
I've never slept so easily. The next morning Christmas came, but I was not as satisfied from by other gifts as I was with the doll. I named her "Alysse", after my best friend that died years ago from getting bitten by a dog. The doll reminded me off her, and sometimes I wondered if that was the source of all the comfort I felt by her.
For the next year, Alysse remained my favorite present and my best friend. Something kind of strange happened that year though, it was my first sign that something was off. My mom called her friend to let her know how much I loved her gift. I wanted to talk to her also, just to say thank you. When we reached her, she said that she didn't remember sending me Alysse.
We all just assumed that it was her husband who sent them to be nice, but when we asked him, he denied sending anything as well. My mom hung up and looked at me with a concerned expression, it was the first time I've ever seen her look at me like that. I think she wanted me to get rid of Alysse, but I would never dream of it. I've become to attached.
I think it was about another few months later when we suddenly packed up our stuff and moved to Pennsylvania for my dad's job. All of our moves are very sudden, so I was used to the unexpected change. However, I wasn't so thrilled about moving to another country. We had been living in Canada for seven years. I had no choice though. As you could have guessed, I immediately turned to Alysse for comfort, and our bond even grew stronger. Long after we settled in I still could not find myself making many friends. Instead, I'd bring Alysse to school and sometimes even talk to her in public.
It creeped the kids out a little bit, so that just made my social life worse. Good thing they didn't see me late at night. All alone, Alysse and I would have long conversations in the privacy of my room. I swear, some nights she would talk back to me. Her voice was so familiar and beautiful, I would never be afraid. It was so soft, it could hug me with that wonderful melody and everything bad that happened would just disappear forever.
This continued for a while, not long after my parents became worried about me. They noticed how introverted I had become, which was not usual for me. My mother then sent me to a therapist who worked on my social skills. The therapist told me not to bring Alysse to school anymore, and that she was a private thing. No one was to know about her. I was afraid of my mother yelling at me if I did not listen to the therapist, so i started to leave Alysse at home when I went out.
After doing this, I noticed that she wouldn't talk to me as much anymore. At night, when I tried to explain, she would just ignore me. I even noticed that her eyes would no longer make contact with mine. They became cold, lifeless little beads, like the eyes on any other doll. For the first time, Alysse began to scare me. I had lost the feeling of being protected by her. Just like years ago, my fear for dolls had returned. I came to my mom and asked her to lock Alysse somewhere out of my room. My mom, happy to see I was beginning to return to the world, agreed to hide Alysse in her closet.
Soon after Alysse was taken from my room, I began to grow connected with the world around me. One by one, people noticed that I had re-gained sanity. I was suddenly involved in a social group, and I loved everyone in it. For several years I had achieved everything a teenager could dream of. I had plenty of great friends, I won medals in tournaments, I got into shape, and my grades got me to the honor roll. My parents knew that getting rid of Alysse was the best thing we ever did. We all forgot about her as the time passed. We didn't even remember to get rid of her in a yard sale. I guess she was so far back in my mother's closet that we never found her.
Well, one day we finally did find her. It was when we were packing up to move, AGAIN. I was helping my mom clean up her closet. I was packing up the socks when suddenly I heard:
"Oh my, look who I found!"
I turned to see her holding Alysse, the doll whom I had completely forgotten about for three years. I don't remember her looking this way. Her hair was no longer glossy and beautiful like it had been before. Instead, it looked all gray and fried as it frizzed out every which way. Her eyes lost their bright gaze, and caught me off guard with a disturbing, sort of depressed and beaten down look. Her smile even seemed to disappear. Just looking at her sent chills running down my spine. I also felt a little guilty from letting my best friend get this way. She had kept me company for so long, and I had just abandoned her.
"We should probably get rid of this thing, it's gross now." My mom said.
I could have sworn just as she said that, Alysse's expression turned from betrayed to furious. A thick vein appeared on the side of her neck, just as it would on a frustrated human. I swallowed, petrified.
"W...we should keep her." I murmured. "She has a lot of memories."
My mom looked back at her, for some reason she didn't see the same, disturbing doll that I was looking at.
"Ugh, really? Okay then."
She handed me Alysse. Just touching her pale skin made my fingers feel frostbitten. A sudden wave of nausea swept over me, I had to drop her. She made a giant THUD as she hit the floor, even my mom turned to see what happened. I tried to explain to her that I had just dropped the doll, but she didn't believe me. I told her that I was tired and ran to my room, I took Alysse with me.
When I got there, I sat her neatly on the bed and closed my door.
"Please, don't be mad! I didn't mean to forget you, I really didn't! It's....just....ugh so much was going on. You know, I'm a teenager. A lot happens at this time in my life!" tears started to flow down my cheeks.
Alysse continued to stare at me with the furious gaze. Her eyes slowly turned to black, with two blood-red dots for pupils. I knew everything that I was saying just made her angrier. The vein in her neck even began to enlarge. I didn't know what else to do. Just as I was about to break down, my mom knocked on the door. I didn't let another second go by without opening it.
"Are you okay?" She asked when I opened the door.
"Yea," I wiped the tears from my eyes, and then searched my mind desperately for an excuse. "I...um...I'm going to miss my friends."
"Aw, don't worry, you always make new friends!" My mom brought me close and hugged me. For once I felt a sense of security, for the first time in a long time...a VERY long time.
After she left I turned back to where I left Alysse on my bed...she was gone. Terrified, I ran out of my room. It was the last day I would spend in that house anyways, so I made up an excuse to sleep with my parents that night. There was no way I was going back in there.
The next day I felt a little better. It was a bright, crisp morning, and I could not wait to get out of that house. We finished loading the car around 10:00am, and pulled out of the driveway...never to return. I imagined Alysse desperately starting at me through the window to my room as we left. I managed to resist checking to see if she was there. The important thing was that she was gone, no more dolls.
The drive lasted about 6 or 7 hours, and with the help of some of my music, I was able to calm down and forget about the day before. I let myself get completely lost in the raging electric guitar and screamo singers, but hey...that's my music. Anyways, by the end of the drive I was completely refreshed. We stopped at a great Greek restaurant and got my favorite food, pita bread and Tzatziki, and I got to cross a giant bridge with a huge river. A little later, we pulled into my new home. It looked pretty welcoming. The house was a good size and made completely of stone. I must admit, it looked even better than the picture I saw on the website. The inside filled with rustic designs and colors, it reminded of Canada! I guess you could say this one of the best houses we've moved into.
That night, I unpacked all my stuff and sorted it neatly in my room. I had plenty of stuffed animals, because for some reason they didn't scare me like dolls did. I really love animals. Anyways, midnight had come, and I was too exhausted to do anymore. I stepped in the shower and turned up the heat almost all the way. A wave of relaxation overcame me as the warm water caressed by body. That ease soon disappeared though, as I heard one of my draws open an close again. I thought it was my mom, so I called her name. She didn't answer. With a cold stone set in my belly, I turned off the shower early. I just felt to uneasy to continue. I quickly stepped out and dried my self.
With the towel wrapped around me, I exited the bathroom (which is in my room) and scrutinized my entire room. I checked the drawers, under the bed, and in the closet. Nothing was there. I began to feel a little better, perhaps it was just my imagination. I stepped back in the shower and continued to wash. I managed to finish this time. I got out again and dried myself fully before slipping into some comfy pajamas. It was after 1:00am by now, so I just assumed most of my family was asleep. I checked the kitchen, no one was in there. The living room was empty too, but the TV was on, a little strange. Not thinking much of it, I turned it off and headed back up to my room.
I was so tired by this time, I fell asleep before my head could hit the pillow. I was in a deep sleep until about 4:00am, when I heard tapping on the stairs. It sounded like tiny little feet were climbing up them. Then, after that, I heard a distinct voice singing "rock-a-bye baby". I was paralyzed.
I recognized that voice from years ago, when she used to sing to me during those long nights. It was Alysse. She was not gone. Usually, her soft voice would embrace my ears with a comforting tune. This time, it caused the blood in my veins to run so fast I became light headed. My heart beat a thousand miles per second in my chest, I thought it could have burst out right there. The steps and voice grew louder as the seconds passed.
"Rock a bye baby, on the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock."
Step...step...step...until I my door flew open and I could see the silhouette of her in my doorway.
"Alysse! Please!" I screamed.
"You left me." She whispered, and then moved in closer.
"Help, help me please!" I screamed, no one in my family came.
"I put them to sleep" Alysse softly spoke again. "I took a knife and sung them a lullaby before putting them to sleep. They will be sleeping for a long time now."
"You killed them! How could you! I should have known you were evil from the start!" I cried so hard and screamed as hard as I could. I felt so lost and alone, no one would find me.
"Don't yell, please don't yell." This time Alysse was at the foot of my bed. "I did this so we could be together forever, just like years ago. I don't mean when you unwrapped me that Christmas eve, you knew me before. We had so much fun, do you remember?"
Suddenly, it hit me. The light from the hallway allowed me to see Alysse's face. A gruesome scar stretched across her forehead and down to her right eye, one that I have not seen on her before. Yet, the bloody site pulled a trigger inside my brain...Alysse! The scar was from the dog bite that killed her! It was my best friend whom I named the doll after! She was the doll!
"Alysee...?" I gasped.
"Yes, it's me. Not that you care, you abandoned me. It's time for me to get my revenge."
"What do you mean?" My stomach turned inside me.
"This might hurt...."
Alysse held up a knife, it's bloodied point gleamed in the light. She lunged at me and shoved the blade deep in my chest, and then forced it down all the way to my pelvis. I heard each and every vein pop and bone crack until my last breath was drawn from me...it was over.
Now, how can I be writing this if I am dead? Easy, just like Alysee, I my soul has been released into a doll. My hair is just as long and beautiful as it was when I first met the doll that took my life. I'm waiting for a friend, if you are reading this, can you be my friend? All I ask is that you love me and never do what I did to my death friend Alysee. If you do...well you should know what will happen. I will see you soon, oh, and this might hurt.