Can you feel it? I know you can. That thing that when you wake up late at night shivering, it is watching. You try shutting all of the doors, windows and curtains, whatever. Just trying to escape the feeling; thinking it’s the crisp chill of the night. But you know you’re wrong. You try to take pills, drink, eat anything. It keeps you up at night though, causing you constant discomfort.
It wakes you up with a hot sweat nearly every night, looking around frantically, feeling sick with fright. It gets closer as you rub your eyes, clearing them of the blur. As you do so, it gets closer and closer till you can almost smell its pungent breath over your sweaty, red face. You know your time is almost up on this earth; but you don’t want it to have the satisfaction of ending you. You’re stronger. At least… you think you are.
You go to the medicine cupboard and take one last glance at your reflection on the mirror on it. The blinds over the bathroom mirror are swaying in the cool breeze, but the windows are all shut. Your eyes are bloodshot and bags hang from underneath them black as the midnight sky. You caress the cold touch of the mirror as you watch his eyes widen from the gloomy doorway behind you, a malicious smile now on his bony face. You reach into the medicine cabinet, and pull out a tub of sleeping pills. Hesitant, you remember what the people had told you.
"You can be around anything long enough to become tolerant of it." you wonder if that works with the bad memories that still haunt you to this day. That is until you perish the thought and rest your forehead against the cool surface of the bathroom mirror. Your eyes begin to tear slightly, it just watches and anticipates the ending…almost like a brilliant horror film. The sort of stuff you used to like watching.
You open the tub taking your time, no escape now… it’s closing in on you. You signal it to stop with shaking hand. Its harsh smile soon turns into frown; but it does as you say. You reach into the tub and pull out a hand of pills. They were miniature, but “dosage of maximum 2 recommended a day” as it read on the label you took little time to examine. 2 would be too little to end your pain now.
You find yourself crying uncontrollably as you pop each of your last few pills individually into the inside of your bone dry mouth. His smile once again recovers as you find yourself choking in regret of what has become of you, struggling to swallow. A stabbing pain passes into your ribcage, then into your heart. You fall to the cold tiled ground, drooling and cursing at the eyes of death. It watches you mercilessly until your eyes are blurred and you begin to drift away. Your last breath of life escaping from your lungs…
You see it for a little while… in your head. The feeling of the darkness still lingering with its eyes still staring. You stare at it back for a while, that is until it begins to fade away as the dark side of your mind retreats away and a calming light is in the distance before you as the word ‘cheater’ echoes in the darkness around you; followed by a deep unsettling laugh. This does not stop you from cracking a pleasant smile for the first time for as long as you remember as you walk in to the light ahead.
You wake up to the safety of a hospital bed. The room is quiet and peaceful. You are at peace for the first time in a long time. At the foot of your bed, stand 2 familiar faces. A man and woman, you remember them as if you saw them a long time ago… but somehow, they still remain vaguely on the edge of your mind. They smile warmly at you, skin pale as a ghost. You smile back, feeling reassured and safe in the eyes of these people. You pull yourself from the bed, not saying a word.You feel nothing. Not even the brisk feeling of your bare feet on the ground below you. You walk over to them, whom are still smiling at you. You walk hand in hand, not knowing why you trust them but something in your conscience tells you to. Not feeling the need to question your actions, you begin to walk out of the single clinic room and in to the growing mist of nothingness...