My brother Bill isn't exactly the most normal person in the world, he’s a borderline schizophrenic, so he can get a bit “odd” at times, like saying he sees weird stuff, and randomly talking to himself, so my mother put him on medication.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother to death and I guess he’s a great kid, he just gets annoying with certain things. He is obsessed with weird stuff like dreams and meditation. The last 11 years he has kept journals religiously. What you are about to read is his final journal entry. I have not edited, changed, or fixed anything about this entry. For personal reasons I will leave the dates of this incident out.
For about the last five years I've thoroughly been practicing, and have become relatively good at, Lucid dreaming. If you're unaware as to what Lucid dreaming is, it is the ability to understand when you're dreaming while you're asleep, making you become in control of your own dreaming experience. That’s not important, but the point I'm trying to make is that I've become very aware as to when I'm dreaming and when I'm not.
The last year and a half I've practiced the art of Chakra. Chakra is composed of about seven centers of psychoactive energy, which you can learn to calm your body in these areas to a state where you can cause Astral Projection, or in other words, have an outer body experiences on demand.
The only problem is that it’s completely different from Lucid dreaming, and you can screw this up, really bad, then you're in some serious trouble. I’m sure some people have seen the movie “Insidious”. While some found it pretty scary and some found it stupid, the movie offers one concept that is very scary. The little boy in the movie projects himself too far, can’t make it back to his body, then goes into a coma. But the scary part is, that can actually happen when you project too far out of your boundaries. That part of the movie is eerily true.
When you project, all of your senses are heightened significantly, you can hear things miles away, smell things miles away, emotions are much, much stronger. When I used to project, I would do it during the daytime while I was in a happy state of mind, usually in a well-lit room where I could focus and not feel too confined. The farthest I've made it was about 4 feet from my body, while that sounds lame and all, it’s actually very invigorating and exciting. It’s almost as if you can feel your body being lifted out of itself, only to be a better feeling version of yourself. I became obsessed with it and kept practicing.
Then one night I wandered a bit too far out of my boundaries, and I witnessed something that I will never forget. I tried doing it at night for a change, before I went to sleep, while I was incredibly depressed about an issue I'd rather not get into, but I decided to do it anyway. I started off in my computer chair in my room around midnight. Sometimes it can take a very long time before you can project properly. I put myself into complete relaxation, I felt my body numbing itself slowly from my forehead all the way down to my toes. After about forty-five minutes, I started to feel myself lift. I became lighter, my problems went away, I felt like I was completely high off of life. I was in a completely different state of mind.
I floated in front of my body to where I could see myself sitting in my computer chair, with my school books scattered all over my desk after my pitiful attempt to complete my statistics homework. Then I started to move towards my back wall, reaching about roughly four feet from my body. So I decided to go farther, and outside the wall of my room to the pouring rain outside. I've never traveled outside, but I know the farther you move away from your body, the less control you feel you have.
It’s almost as if your power to move yourself becomes more and more depleted. Depending on the person who is projecting and how experienced they are, time can either move much slower or much faster. In my case since I’m not exactly qualified as “experienced”, time moves significantly faster for me. If you can picture a stopwatch, the speed at which seconds move is about the time it takes minutes to change for me.
I looked peaceful sleeping, our Great Dane laying right next to my chair. By this point in the night all the lights in my house were out, and everyone was asleep. Then something incredibly horrifying happened. I saw a tall man enter my room very slowly. I did not recognize him at all, he was an old sickly looking man with white hair and was dressed in a full black suit.
He walked into my room and stopped right in front of my computer chair, where I was sitting. My dog woke up immediately. My first thought is this guy must have broken into my home, my dog is going to go nuts. No. What happened was the complete opposite that informed me that if something wasn't seriously wrong already, now it was.
My dog immediately stood up, stuck his tail in between his legs, and pissed all over my floor. It wasn't like he had an accident, we have a doggy door and he is more than trained to use it. His legs were shivering uncontrollably as he walked out of my room. He knew something was wrong with this man. I completely thought I was going to shut down as I stared at him while I hovered outside of my window.
I thought to myself, can this guy see me? How did he get into my home? How did my mother and father not see him come in? He didn't look like he was in any shape to make a forcible entry. But he had a very creepy demeanor to him that made me horrified. As I watched him, he didn't move, not a single muscle. He stood in front of my chair staring at me with his eyes locked on my body as if he were watching television. As I looked at my clock I could see the time flying by, he still stood. Hours went by, he still stood.
I couldn't move, I couldn't get back to my body, I felt immobile, paralyzed, forced to watch this unknown being relentlessly stare at my body. As the time hit 5 am, my brother walked into my room, the man didn't move.
My brother walked right by the man to my dresser where I hide my playboys. He was no more than 1 foot away from my brother, still staring at me. Then my brother looked at me sleeping, walked over to my body and slapped my face to wake me up. He probably just thought I fell asleep in my chair.
I couldn't feel anything from where I was projecting, I felt nothing connected with my body. My brother slapped me again, this time harder. At this point he was directly next to the tall man. Then my brother walked out of my room. He didn't see him. He didn't even make an indication that SOMETHING could possibly be wrong. Whoever or whatever that thing was, my brother couldn't see him, but my dog could? What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On.
I am absolutely petrified by this point, I’m on the verge of crying, I’m helpless, I just want to scream but I can’t, I just want to get back to my body and snap out of this, but I can’t. Then I notice the minutes stop moving fast, they stop at 6:12 am. Then I could feel the rain stop, what’s going on? I still can’t make my way into my room so I can’t be snapping out of it. Then all sound stops. Completely. I can’t hear anything or sense anything, as if you were to put a television on mute.
The man turned very slowly and looked directly at me through the window, as if he knew I was there the whole time. He was hideous now that I could get a better look at him. His hair was disheveled, his eyes looked sucked back into their sockets, and his face was full of old wrinkles and scars.
His eyes locked with mine, and he smiled, not a happy looking smile, the type of eerie smile that seems to stretch from ear to ear with a sort of demented meaning to it. Then he put his finger to his mouth to “SSHHHHH” me, then he turned and walked out of my room slowly with the door closing behind him, without him touching it. The next blink I took I was shoved back into my body and jolted up like I’d been hit with a shot of adrenaline.
I ran out of my room to try to catch the man. Nothing. I checked my whole house. Nothing. I thought immediately that it was a dream, An incredibly vivid dream. Until I walked back into my room and stepped in something wet, then smelled it. It was urine. I froze with shock, I didn't know what to think. I went to see if my magazines were missing from what I remembered.
I checked my dresser, it was gone; that's when I noticed next to my homework a piece of paper I didn't recognize. I picked it up, the wording was a bit scratchy, it read “You’ll be with me soon enough, the sights of hell bring its viewers back in”. I can’t tell anyone about this. I think I’m finally losing it.
That’s where the journal entry ends. It’s the last one in his book and I’m not sure what to make of all of this. I know nothing about Lucid Dreaming or Astral Projection. I’m writing this for help. My brother Bill passed away 4 days after this final journal entry. He died in his sleep, he was 18 years old and never had a cigarette or drank a beer in his life, he never had health complications.
Perhaps I'll see him again in my dreams...