I had always had a fondness for the color red. Ever since I was a young girl, red had always been a favorite color of mine. Red, red, red. I was all about the red. By the age of sixteen I even had tried to dye my hair red. What a disaster that had been. A lot of people just attributed it to me being OCD, but, I just never paid them much attention and just went about my life.
Because of this however, I wasn't that popular of a girl throughout middle school, or high school for that matter. Not that I really cared, the few friends I did have were just fine. They looked out for me, made sure that no one bothered me by making fun of me for never being pretty or popular like many of the other girls at school. Why would I want to be like them? Pregnant at the age of sixteen wasn't exactly something to be proud of. But, I digress.
By now, I had left that little town behind me and was now studying at NYU. I loved it here. I had new friends and there were plenty of cute guys that I was interested in. However, shyness had a way of rearing its ugly little head, always making me look like some silly little girl as I fumbled for the right words to say to a guy. I was tired of it. Tired of always being the mousy girl that the guys overlooked for the blonde slut who had been passed around by every guy on the campus. So, I decided that it was time to change.
On the following weekend of May 24th, 2009 I set out into town to change myself. I decided that it was best to start with how I looked and dressed. So, I started with makeup. I went to several shops, purchasing various assortments of eyeliner, lipstick and then finally coming across some nail polish that would complete my new look. At first, I thought it weird that this bottle of nail polish was sitting off to itself. Almost as if other shoppers had specifically overlooked this particular bottle on purpose. Picking it up, I examined the bottle to find that it was a dark shade of red, perfect for everything that I had bought so far. I had to have it.
Approaching the counter, I laid everything down for purchase and when the nail polish was scanned, the clerk was puzzled as she stared at the bottle. Looking at me, she told me that the bottle was not listed in their inventory and therefore, I could not purchase it. A sense of dread came over me. I absolutely HAD to have that bottle of nail polish. I don't know what came over me. Call it my OCD, the need to fit in or some other strange effect, but I needed that bottle and there was no way this woman was going to stop me from having it.
"I want that nail polish!" I demanded, the clerk giving me a frightened look as she stepped back, before simply nodding and putting the item into the system so that I could buy it.
Satisfied with the purchase, I went on to purchase some clothes and settled on a very revealing black dress that on any given day, I would have not dare worn. But, this wasn't about being afraid. No, this was about changing myself and insecurities would not be stopping me from doing this.
The next day, I decided that it was time for me to try out my new look in public after many times of observing myself in the mirror of my bathroom.
Standing in front of the full-length bedroom mirror, I admired myself in the tight black dress I had bought the previous day, my hair already done up in its usual thick, curl-accentuating style. Dark ruby lips gleamed in the light, reminding me exactly of what I was doing and why I was doing it.
At first, I was scared. I wasn't so sure that this was a good idea, this voice in the back of mind telling me that this was not something that I would do. But then again, I was tired of being me. I was tired of being that girl who didn't want to go out to clubs, to give in to her desires and just let herself go. I finally settled on this being a test, to see exactly how it would go before fully deciding on whether or not this would be the new me. There was nothing wrong with a little experimenting, I found the idea... enchanting.
When the time came for me to apply the nail polish that I had bought with everything, I held the small bottle in one hand, staring at it intently as I read the label. It was any ordinary bottle, made by Maybelline and was simply labeled as "Blood". Strange, I thought as I placed it on the vanity next to me. I couldn't recall there ever being a color with that name, nor do I think that Maybelline would make such a bottle. Shrugging it off as nothing, I once again picked up the bottle and unscrewed the top. Immediately, a metallic scent filled the air and assaulted my senses, my free hand coming up to cover my nose. Was that blood I smelled? It couldn't be! Why on earth would there be blood in a fucking bottle of nail polish? For a moment, I contemplated calling the police or just throwing it away, crediting it to some sick joke that someone had decided to play on a hapless person who might come along and buy it. Perhaps it was nothing more than just theatrics, after all, it was labeled blood.
Then, something strange happened.
This feeling came over me, I don't know how to explain it, but I suddenly came to this conclusion that there was nothing wrong with it and so, I decided to put it on. At first, it was just ordinary polish and I was fine. It went great with the dress I was wearing and to say the least, I looked very seductive. Then, I began to feel something. An enlightened feeling came over me. A sense of empowerment that made me feel confident in every way that a true woman would, transforming my once geeky exterior into that of a confident vixen who knew how to get anything she wanted. I felt so sexy. The need to go out, and to find someone to satisfy my growing sexual desires becoming all that I could think of. As I was still a virgin, I had no idea what to think of this new desire. However, I did know where I could go to satiate my needs.
There was a nightclub off of the Upper East Side of Manhattan, a few of my friends had mentioned it to me a few times when we would go out and how it was the hottest spot for social gatherings. I sat at the bar, observing the crowd of people who sat at tables, on the dance floor and even those who occupied the stools next to me. It being my first time, I wanted it to be spectacular. Not just any random guy would do, I needed someone who was going to make me beg for him to do dirty things to me. To turn me into the type of girl whom I had so passionately hated during my youth: a slut. Normally, I would never want to associate myself with such a word, but this primal instinct drove me to the point of not giving a damn about my misogynistic ideals of my fellow women.
Surveying the choices at the bar, my eyes eventually settled upon a man who was sitting next to a drunk couple that were kissing. He caught my attention immediately, he had the physique of a bodybuilder, broad shoulders and a six pack, from what I could only assume came from time spent at the gym. The silk shirt he wore, it spoke to me, that he was just like me. A predator, out stalking its prey and would not be satisfied until it had what it was entitled to, stopping at nothing in doing so.
Finishing the drink I had ordered, I stepped down from the stool and slinked my way towards him in a way that was brand new to me. I was beginning to like this new me, this was a lot more interesting than sitting in my dorm cramming for finals. When I approached the man, I sat down next to him, smiling seductively as I leaned against the bar.
"Hi," I purred, shifting my legs to where the tight fabric of my dress hiked itself up slightly, exposing the curve of my thighs and the black G-string I wore beneath.
I knew this would get his attention, as if any man would resist such a tempting invitation.
"Hi, I'm Kevin," was his reply as he extended his hand to me.
"Vanessa," I took his hand, shaking it as I kept my eyes leveled with his. "So, you go to school here?"
Kevin nodded. "Yeah, I study economics at the college. And you?"
Studying him as we continued talking, I noted the occasional glances down towards my waist. Of how his eyes slowly drifted up and down as he studied me, obviously liking what he was seeing or else I doubt he would have offered me a seconds glance. Men were suckers for a nice set of breasts and a tight, delicately curved ass, I had gathered this much from observation over the years. This told me all I needed to know, it was time that I take this game of ours to the next level.
"So..." I trailed off, placing one of my painted fingers on his chest and slowly trailing down his chest. "How about you and I go back to my place for some... fun."
It went just as I had expected. Kevin, who had known me all of five minutes, said yes and nodded enthusiastically.
We went back to my apartment, the two of us lip locking as I fumbled with the key to get inside. Our hands explored each others bodies as we continued our kiss. Parting our mouths, allowing the tongue of the man to mingle with mine, the two muscles locking with each other as saliva was swapped. The warmth of his body pressed against mine sent me into a state of frenzy, I'd never wanted anything so badly more than I wanted him inside me right now. I had never known a lot about sex, being as sheltered as I was as a child, I was inexperienced, but I wasn't going to let that stop me, not tonight.
Shoving Kevin roughly onto my bed, we quickly shed our clothes, my dress thrown to the floor as I straddled his waist. The warm weight of him settling firmly between my legs, teasing me before finally plunging deep into me. It felt fantastic. My mind becoming overloaded with a million thoughts of pleasure and pain, both mixing together as I felt myself stretch around him.
To say the least, it was amazing. It made me feel stupid, for what I had missed out on all those years as a young girl. How foolish I'd been, there was nothing wrong with this naughty activity as I had thought previously. My hands ran down his taunt body, traveling down his chest and to his abdomen. Between thrusts, I ran my nailed hands over his abdomen, feeling the hard muscle beneath my fingers as I grip them tightly. I had never been one for such physically fit men, but, god, I found the experience to be... heavenly.
There was something else though, I found my thoughts suddenly wandering to an entirely different thought than that of the wonderful sex I was having. At first, I thought it was just my state of mind that was making me think this, but suddenly, I found myself unable to tear my curiosity away.
I don't remember exactly what it was, but I felt this compulsion come over me, the sudden urge to see red as my eyes fluttered open to stare down at where my hands were located at on his chest. I felt this gnawing sensation build up in my stomach, yearning for something I didn't quite understand at first. This... hunger.
Before I even realized what I was doing, I dug my nails deep down into his flesh, blood spouting from beneath my hooked fingers as they sank deeper. The sound of skin tearing was enamoring, my moans of pleasure intensifying as Kevin's quickly gave way to screaming, but I didn't care. Blood soaked my hands, covering Kevin's body as quick work was made of the muscle beneath, the now hoarse screams giving way to gurgling as he began to choke on his own blood. Ah, the color red. How I adored it as I continued to disembowel my lover, ripping intestine and various other organs from his stomach as I indulged myself in the glorious shower of blood. It felt... euphoric.
I didn't stop there though, either. Continuing my journey down this blood drenched road, I dug my hands deep into the cavity that had opened up where Kevin's stomach had once been, tearing out more organs and bathing in the red liquid that dribbled down my arms like honey. The sound of bones snapping delighted me, chunks of meat flying through the air as I tore my hands free. By then, the silk sheets of my bed were stained so red, that I was now surrounded by a pool of blood. I inhaled the scent, a smile spreading across my face.
I know it was wrong. Some part of me, that innocence that I'd been holding onto in the back of my mind since tonight had begun, told me that I should stop. That there was still time to save Kevin, if I would just pick up my cellphone and call the hospital. But, I didn't. I was enjoying this far too much to give a damn about saving this stranger who I had seduced into my bedroom.
Laughing, I tossed my head back, the punchline of some unspoken joke sending me into a fit of giggles that seemed like it wouldn't stop. I was hysterical. A dark side that no person should have taking over, revealing in the work I had done to the man lying beneath me, admiring it.
"W-Why..?" A whisper came from beneath, using the last of his strength to weakly lift a hand towards me.
Giggling, I took his hand and gently squeezed it as I leaned forward and placed a kiss gently to his now blood-stained lips.
"Why?" I asked, licking the blood from my lips and giggling once more. "You want to know why, Kevin? It's because I love you. All of this, is because I love you..."
That was the last thing Kevin heard, I felt him go flaccid inside me and his chest lowered as the last of his breath escaped him.
By then, I heard the police sirens as they came closer and closer, alerting me to the reality of what was happening. Someone must have heard Kevin's screaming and called the police, I had no idea what to do. I panicked. By then, it was too late. Already there was a loud knock on the door to my apartment as I could hear a man's voice from the other side. Unable to move, I just sat atop Kevin's corpse dumbfounded as the door to my apartment was kicked in, the cops that were present rushing forward to my room and stopping in front of me, both wore a mask of pure horror as their gaze's were upon me and my... handy work.
And that's how I ended up here.
Now, I spend my days in a correctional facility, waiting for my inevitable court date to decide what my fate will be. Several times, I was asked to accept a plead of insanity. I knew what they wanted. I won't give it up, it's MY bottle of nail polish and there was no way those bastards were going to get their hands on it. It's the perfect shade of red... blood. No one is going to take it from me and until the day I die, I will never speak of it.
I've come to the conclusion that there was something very magical and dangerous, about the nail polish. Quite evil, if I might say so myself. Why would it have such effects on a person you say? I have no idea. But, I do know this. It is an addiction, something that once you have a taste of, you have to have it over and over, like crystal meth. To this very day, I still yearn for it, to put it back on and feel that surge of confidence spread through me once more.
One last thing.
If you ever come across a bottle of Maybelline nail polish that is labeled as blood, please do send it to the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for Women. I currently reside in Cell-block D. I'll be waiting and who knows, maybe if you try some of it on yourself, you'll understand why red will always be my favorite color.
Written by Jisatsukyōtei