We moved into the house when I was 16. I remember walking up the steps into the dusty old Victorian home as if it happened only a day ago. Believe me, I wish I hadn't. I wish I had told my parents of the weird feeling I got around that godforsaken place. I should have told them the hairs on the back of my neck stood up the second I passed the threshold and stepped into the grand entryway. This is my story.
I wander up the winding spiral staircase, glancing in every direction as though not to miss one detail of this house. Something isn't right here. I will find out what that is.
At the landing of the stairs there is a small hallway and at one end there are two doors. I open one to find the master bedroom. In the center of the room there is a large bed covered with a thick white sheet to keep the moths away from the delicate cloth. The space is also occupied by a dresser and a nightstand in the same condition and a bathroom at the far corner.
My mother follows suit, brushing past me and into the large room. She yanks the sheet on the bed releasing a plume of blinding dust. We both delve into hysterical coughing fits until the cloud dies down. She does the same with the other furniture and once all the dust is settled, she turns to me.
"It's beautiful, isn't it." I nod in silence and glance around her room once more. "Your room is next door." She smiles. I turn and walk out of the room and to the door right next to hers.
Throwing it open I walk into a room only a tiny bit smaller than the master yet much more furniture. A bed, nightstand, desk, dresser, and a wardrobe. Cluttered compared to mom's room but still roomy. I pull the sheets off everything, the natural light streaming in from the two windows making the dust glitter and swirl before it all drifts down once more. The dark wood and wrought iron style giving the room a cozy feeling.
"Maybe this place isn't so bad," I mumble to myself.
It takes a few hours but we finally unload the U-Haul and get everything inside after cleaning up all the dust and another few hours putting everything in it's place. My mother and I stand back and admire our work in the living room.
"Your father would've loved this place," she whispers, a tear streaming down her cheek. I nod, choked up. "Get some sleep kiddo, you have a lot of exploring to do tomorrow."
She knows I'm a curious person and with our new house being backed by nothing but woods and uninhabited land, I will have my hands full.
CRASH! I jerk up, pulled from my peaceful happy dream.
"Shit!" my mom exclaims from downstairs. I jog down the stairs after pulling on my robe.
"What's going on?" I say as I step into the kitchen. A jam jar is shattered into a million little pieces on the tile. I bend and help mom pick the shards from the sticky mess.
"Sorry I woke you up, honey. It just slipped out of my hands."
"It's okay, mom." I smile.
"Go on, kiddo. I know you wanna check that out," she says, jabbing her thumb in the direction of the backyard - and the forest. I smile and get to my feet as she continues cleaning up the jam. I grab a granola bar for breakfast and run up the stairs to get dressed.
I poke around the trees, catching sight of many deer and a fox on my way deeper and deeper into the woods. I scan the area in front of me, choosing a good path. Something catches my eyes. A house in the distance.
"Neighbors?" I ask myself. I didn't know we had neighbors. I speed toward the house. Why didn't the realtor tell us we had neighbors? I get about halfway to the little clearing the house rests in when I notice. We don't have neighbors, the house is abandoned.
Our house is old but this one is obviously older. The roof is dilapidated, the walls are caving in and there are many small trees poking through the empty door frame. Perfect. I jog up to the porch and slip into the house, carefully making my way through the halls, making sure I don't step on any loose spots or holes. I explore all of the first floor and the second floor until I see a small hole in the ceiling, leading to the attic. I jump up and pull down the flight of stairs. By this time it's dusk and less light is coming in the broken or empty window frames, and that was my only source of light.
One part of me tells me to turn back, go home, mom has dinner waiting. The other part of me urges me forward, urges me to take the risk. I do. I climb up the stairs and into the attic. The darkness covers me like a shroud and I shiver from the sudden cold.
"Stop" I tell myself. "This is enough, go home." I turn to make my way out of the house but I can't find the trap door out of the attic.
"Hello, girl." a voice coos. I whip around again and I see two glowing orbs. One of a stunning green and the other of a piercing blue. I stumble back until I hit a wall.
"Oh, please don't leave me. It's very lonely up here." The eyes come closer. I hear a small click and a tiny, dim light bulb flickers to life. Before me stands a mangled man, covered in scars, huge bent wings coated in black silky feathers expanding from his back. His face is covered with a wolfish grin of pointy teeth and his body is covered by a once fancy suit, now torn and dirty.
"I do not want to be alone any longer." his eyes are sad, the color dimming. I have the overwhelming feeling that he is truly alone, he can't be that old... can he?
"What are you?" I stutter.
"I do not know, I have not a name or a kind. I will not let you leave." The eyes are now devoid of sadness and filled only by malice. "You can't leave this house!" I won't be able to escape, the realization hits my mind like a pile of bricks. "Make your decision now! Stay or I kill!" I wince.
The creature's eyes soften.
"You may leave if I come with you." I shake my head. I can't walk around with a creature trailing me.
"I can solve that." He says, the wolfish grin returning . Did he hear what I thought? He reaches back, pulls a black feather from his gruesome wings and walks over to me. I'm terrified but I try not to show it. He reaches behind me and digs the end of the feather into the side of my head behind my ear. Things flash back then go back to normal. The winged man is still standing in front of me... but... the scars are gone.
"Only you may see me. I am your mind."
From then on he was in my head, appearing all the time to talk or otherwise constantly talking in my mind, never leaving me alone. Always there. This is my suicide note, or rather page. He has never left. And I am losing it, good bye.