Total insecurity about the future engulfed me like a fog. My mind completely cleared and all I could think about was one thing: my existence. I tried to shrug it off, but to no avail. I just couldn’t stop thinking about my own existence. The odds of my existence were close to zero, yet I still stood here. I am nothing more and nothing less. Me.
The bus' uncomfortable blue seats had me adjusting myself every few minutes. The view was nice, but the window was completely scratched up. There was, however, some writing on the window that I saw. “Don’t forget to ad me to the book when you’ve,” and that was it. I had no idea what so ever what that meant, and I didn’t care. I just looked out the window as the way a god would look upon his creation. Not caring if the world would end, just looking. Not caring about people’s struggles, joy, or misery. Just observing.
Some of those around me began to strike up a conversation, but there words were lost on me. I just continued to stare. I cannot explain what feeling I was experiencing. I just began to look upon the world in strangeness like it was something completely out of my understanding. Even as I write this now I cannot even put enough words into here to describe this thing I was feeling. How does one describe something so alien… so strange?
The bus came to a stop and I got off. Usually after this, I’d get something to eat or check my phone, but I just kept walking. Walking home. I thought about turning around, but I just kept moving. Although it was a cold day, I didn’t even put my hood up. I just kept walking. Looking around and seeing things I usually wouldn’t have noticed. I was just soaking up everything that I could lay my eyes upon. A woman walking her dog passed me, and I kept walking. I saw an old man mowing his lawn even though it was covered in leaves and snow. I kept walking.
I eventually reached my door and opened it. I walked in a circle around my living room, maneuvering to the stairs. I went into my bedroom and just sat on the bed. My head began to ache and my nose began to bleed, I sat there staring at the wall. My vision started to blur and I whispered to myself, “Is this it?” I looked up to see man sitting on my chair. I asked him, “Who are you?”
“That would spoil the surprise wouldn’t it?”
“I have a question for you.”
“What is it?”
“Have you ever heard of a multiverse?”
“A multiverse is a collection of multiple universes that usually are offshoots of an origin universe. Now, some universes only have minor differences, while others have major differences that affect the history and the universe’s well being. Universes die all the time, and it’s not that big of a deal. Here’s the thing though, whether you know it or not, all individuals are connected though an unconscious bond through all the universes. We like to call this bond an annex. Usually, an annex can affect an individual’s physical and mental health. Once an annex has been severed, an individual can fall into insanity or even die.”
“How is an annex severed?”
“Well there’s only one way an annex can be severed. An annex is severed when every other version of themselves have died. This is a rare occurrence, though, and never happens to anyone that was ever of any importance to any earth. So usually only one annex is severed every thousand years or so.”
“What does this have to do with me?”
“Has anyone ever told you that you ask a lot of questions?” I looked at him without blinking or even moving. “Right, I’m talking to a nut. So you probably understand what this has to do with you, already. You’re annex is as severed as Marie Antoinette’s head is to her skinny little French body. The multiverse doesn’t like individuality that much, so I’m here to off you. You may be wondering why me specifically has to off you, well that’s because-“
“Enough with the exposition and do it.”
“I said do it”
“You’re embracing your death so eagerly… are you sure?”
“Why does it even matter?”
“Something only matters if you believe it matters. Now prepare yourself, because this is going to hurt.”
The man took a step back and began moved his hands in an odd manner. His expression was one of happiness, but his eyes had a look of sadness. My skin began to peel off as every component of my body as spread out into the air. My veins, my bones, my organs, and even my skin were now suspended into the air. I could still see, still think, and still feel. I could even move some of my body parts. One by one, every single piece of me began to fade. Lost my hearing fist, then my touch, and then my taste. My entire body was gone except for my eyes and my brain. The strange man caressed my brain slowly, as I started to stop thinking. This is what death feels like? I can’t think clearly, there’s a fog around me like the fog from earlier. My sight was beginning to go too, but instead of everything going black like I expected, everything went white. White. All I could see was white. All I could see was white walls. White padded walls. White padded walls where I’ve been damned to spent my existence. The white man in the white shirt with the white tray filled with white food came to me and placed it before me.
“I’m dead, you know,” I said to the man.
“Mr. Thompkins, please start taking your medicine, it’ll make you feel better.”
“But I can’t feel anything. My body is gone.”
“Mr. Thompkins… your son called. He told us to inform you that your wife’s funeral went as planned.”
“Mr. Thompkins, I have to leave now. Have a good night.” At least I know that it’s night now. I heard him leave and whisper to one of the many nurses here. “I can’t believe such a brilliant mind was shattered by one death.”
I suppose this isn’t that bad. Spending eternity in white sounds like heaven, but I know heaven isn’t real and if it was this isn’t wouldn’t look like this. I thought about how much I like my new white clothes, my new white home, and my new white life. I think it’s not too bad until all the nurses say goodbye, because I know the angles care. I don’t think it’s that bad when I hear a loud screaming from down the hall, because I know I’m not alone. The one thing that is bad though is when they turn out the lights.
Written by The Damn Batman