The flames are in full force now. Glass is shattering from the heat generated by this inferno. Even the charred wood is beginning to splinter, unable to withstand the weight of the second and third floors above. You know, it is fires like these that made me want to become a fireman. To see raging death dance across the floors, walls and ceilings is an incredibly beautiful and mystical sight. Don’t you agree?

With each person I pulled out of this burning tomb I saw more and more flashes of cameras from my fans and admirers. It feels incredible to be loved and honored like a hero. It is intoxicating even. I cannot get enough of it. That’s why I keep going into the jaws of death to save these irrelevant people. People like you. What they do not know is that I already know how the flame is going to spread and I know where it is safe and where it is not. That’s why I started the fire there… there… and over there.

Unfortunately, for you, I cannot pull you from this beautiful place. You are the last one in the building… well besides me. My fans tend to question how dangerous fires like these can be if no one dies within them. That’s why I must leave you here. My people must know how much danger I put myself in. The adoration is more sincere this way. You understand, don’t you? Look, here is some advice for you my friend. Inhale the smoke. Trust me when I say that it is better than the alternative. Okay then… see ya after the cinders die out.