Marked for Review
This story has been marked for review for the following reason(s):
Interesting enough story and plot, but the structure is very awkward. Second opinion as I am on the fence with this one
By : Varian F.D
I woke up inside a strange looking place. This place appears to be a room of some sort. It is dark colored in different shades of red and black. There are no doors. There are two windows, side by side, each gazing somewhere towards the outside world. This room is practically empty, for there's basically no sign of any furniture or object except windows.
I began to get up on my feet and examined the room. I moved closer to one of the windows. I silently looked outside. I cannot see anything, for the thick fog outside blocked my sight. The wind blew the fog off, then what I saw next made me utterly terrified. I saw a city. But, it is not just any city. This city I am looking at is destroyed to its roots. There are burning skyscrapers, half-demolished buildings scattered everywhere around the block. The roads are burning, the sky is blood red. You might think that this description I explained sounded a little bit cliche-esque, but there's more. The whole city is upside down.
So, I'm currently looking at a destroyed, upside down city. A perfect depiction of hell, if you ask me.
Suddenly a creature appeared in front of the window I am looking at. The creature looked like a floating half-skeleton wearing a hooded robe. I backed down a little. The creature came closer towards me. I began to feel nauseous, and the creature mumbled something, like a mantra. I began to vomit a lot, then my vision grew weak, and I passed out.
I woke up to a long, dark hallway. It hallway lacked any sort of lighting, and there are doors. A lot of them. The doors are not the usual doors you would find at an office, a school, or a hospital. You would find these doors inside an asylum. An abandoned one. The rusted door handles and the small looking glass above them creeped me out. I heard a faint scream, and a loud sobbing from the doors. I slowly walked through the hallway, not daring enough to peek through the windows of each door. Who knows what's going on inside them.
My movement came to a halt when the hallway ended. There is a red door with a black handle on the end of the hallway. My curiosity bested my sane mind.
When I was about to grab the door handle, I heard a screeching. A high -pitched screeching like those you would hear in a cheap horror flick. I turned around to face whatever is following me, and I froze. That floating, half a skeleton appeared in the distance, this time carrying a bloodied, rusty axe. I tried to stay calm, and turned around to open the red door. But the door won't budge. I saw the creature closing in on the corner of my eyes.
I kept trying to open the door, but it didn't even move an inch. I backed down from the door, and with all my might I charged into the fucking door. The door shattered into splinters of metal and wood. Inside, I saw an enormous white void, and I jumped for the sake of the safety of my soul.
The void was endless, and I closed my eyes, hoping to survive the fall. When I opened my eyes, I was standing in a flat platform, walled on each side. I saw a set of stairs, leading down to a pitch black path. I walked down along the stairway, and suddenly there was a painting on the wall beside me. I have no idea what painting that is or who painted that, but the painting looked incredibly familiar to me. I moved on and tried to keep my pace steady along the stairway. I heard a creak, and the stairway collapsed. I tried to hold on to the stair handles so I won't fall, but I felt like somebody gave me a strong push. So I slipped and fell into the dark abyss below me. My whole life flashed before my eyes, my childhood memories, and some other happy stuff. I blacked out when I saw the ground closing in towards me and the debris.
I woke up in the middle of an enormous room. There was a podium in the middle. Something inside me wanted to get up on that podium. So I followed my instincts. I walked to the podium, and got up there. It was very bright there. I inspected my surroundings from the podium, an what I saw next almost made me puke; there's blood everywhere. Bloodied skeletons chained to the walls, half-decomposed corpses scattered on the floor, or stuck on spikes protruding from the ground. Decapitated heads were hanging from meat hooks coming out of the ceiling around the podium. I swear that in a split second I heard a faint murmuring and sobbing from the heads. I was disgusted, and terrified. Then I heard a loud screaming followed with a heavy toned, deep accented, disembodied voice.
"You are not guilty nor worthy enough to be punished in a way these sinners are punished. I have granted you my forgiveness, and I shall banish you back to your realm, on Earth. But I must warn you, that we will meet again, in another time. Flee, you sinful creature!"
As soon as the voice finished talking, a portal opened up above the podium I am standing at. The portal sucked me in, to a dark and empty space, void of any signs of life. Then, I woke up.
It appears that everything that just happened to me were nothing but a bunch of nightmares. But this really made me wonder if I had acquired schizophrenia at all. It appears that a schizophrenic person might have a little piece of hell stuck inside their nightmares when they had it