United States Secret Service
Security Clearance: POTUS or above
Dated: December 2, 1988
Interviewee: General Cornelius Watson
Interviewer: John R. Simpson (Head of the Secret Service)
Simpson: So start at the beginning General. Everything you said before, say again. We need to have record of this.
Watson: Okay... okay. I've known this secret for far too long, and it needs to be told. Maybe we can do something.
S: There are a number of events throughout history that have always been assumed to be accidents or "unexplained", isn't that right?
W: That's right. Sometimes incurring massive loss of life, these events are all linked. There is a will behind them. It dates back to the 19th century. Would you believe me if I told you that first contact took place back then? Towards the end of that century, extra-terrestrials attempted contact with our president.
S: What happened?
W: It was a clusterfuck for everyone involved. I mean you can understand "their" logic. 'Take Us to Your Leader', and all that, but they planted their damn ship right on the White House Green unannounced in the middle of the night. The Secret Service agents had no information or understanding so defaulted to shoot now, apologise later.
S: They killed them all?
W: Not quite. One of them, what we understand to be an ambassador now, struggled back into the ship. He took off and that was the beginning of the end. We seized the technology, but had no clue as to its design or how to reverse engineer it. Over the last hundred years we have been able to take it apart and utilise the parts. This one event is directly responsible for the discovery of the micro-chip and everything related to it. Without it we would still be living in the thirties. Hell, the tech showed us how to split the atom.
S: And that was thought the end of it?
W: We weren't stupid enough to not expect a reprisal, but we were fully willing to apologise after realising that it was meant to be a meeting of peace and alliance. Think of where our society would be now, if only those agents hadn't opened fire... but none of us were prepared for what happened next.
The only reason we know it was intentional was due to a signal broadcast in the seconds before hand, depicting a countdown in binary. The science-guys always said that numbers would be the universal language.
It was a weapon, a warning shot of more to follow. A single missile detonated 7km above the surface of the earth was enough to flatten trees for 2000 square km.
What we soon learned about this race was that they were very long-lived, with life-spans in the thousands of years. They had all the time in the world to analyse and pick their targets. The next attack came without warning and inadvertently helped us. See this race have evolved past countries or politics, and assumed our planet was a single nation. They thought an attack on part of us was an attack on all of us.
So they attacked Japan. Hiroshima, to be exact. What could we do? We could admit that for 50 years we had been hiding the existence of aliens, or claim that the attack was ours and that we were capable of yet more attacks. The fear of that weapon has held us in check for decades after.
S: Did the Japanese know?
W: After the end of the war, they were brought into confidence and we were able to pool our resources along with other countries. England was battered and bruised from WW2, but those limeys were too stubborn to say no, and even Russia jumped on board.
S: What did you have planned?
W: What could we plan for? We had almost no information on the enemy past what initial contact taught us, and they could rain fire from the heavens. The breakthrough came when we finally perfected our nukes. We needed to defend ourselves, but someone would have noticed a huge stockpile of weapons with no clear intention.
God Bless Russia.
They were the ones who came up with the idea of the Cold War. A period of sustained hostilities where we could arm our arsenals without too much concern.
S: The Cold War was fake?
W: Of course! Why would we need enough nukes to blow up the planet 100 times? Because they were never intended for use on earth. Working with designers of the V-2 missiles, and the lesser known V-3 cannon, the nukes were designed for high orbit defense against any and all threats. The EMP alone made them formidable in space.
S: The Russians were actually allies?
W: They crippled their own economy just to try make sure the world was safe. Everything about that conflict was staged, from the amendments to the constitution to the Cuban Missile Crisis. All distractions whilst we went about about the business of protecting the world.
S: So what is happening now?
W: Well, they changed the god-damned rules, didn't they! They've worked out how to detonate our nuclear power plants from orbit with no missiles or sign of intervention. Two years ago, we had Chernobyl. That was a new show of force, and a sign that wiping us out is not enough. These creatures view us as a little above vermin, and in need of punishment. We worked out how to jam the damn wavelength they were using to mess with the half-lives of the radioactive material, but it was just another step in this insane "inter-galactic" arms race.
S: So where do we go from here?
W: I don't know. Everything has gone quiet, but this is often a sign of the calm before the storm. I'm bracing myself for something far worse. You should too.
No one within the government is willing to comment at this time.
Written by The Silicon Lemming